Chapter Two

Hyun Joong carefully got off the bed. It had been three years since they'd been together and things had changed quite a bit.

Boys Before Flowers had been a huge success and turned him into a Hallyu star. As a result, he regretted that lately, he'd been in SS501 in name only, but that wasn't his only regret.

He turned to watch Hwangbo as she slept peacefully.

Their relationship… he sighed as he watched her chest lift up and down in a pattern that had become very familiar to him. In the three years they'd been together, she'd never actually come out and said that they were indeed together.

He loved her but with her, it had been one drama after the other. At first, she didn't want to be with him because of the age difference. When she got over that, her next excuse was that he was a member of an idol band and she didn't want to come in the way of him and his fans. When his acting career took off, she said that he was too famous and she didn't want to hurt his career.

But when she felt lonely, she called him. When she felt happy, she called him. When she was sad, she called him. In her apartment, their cars, in secret, they were together and were, in every respect, a couple.


He'd introduced her to all of his family and she and his mother had become friends but so far, he'd only met her mom once and that had been by chance.

In bed, she was passionate, and even though she always appeared to have this lively personality, underneath it all, when it came to the emotional part of their relationship, she was cool.

He remembered showing her the script for the bed scene in his last drama, and it was quite risqué and the director was known for being rather explicit in his direction.

He knew that he was being childish, but he'd hoped to make her mad or at least to see a sign of jealousy, not the fake jealously she displayed when she'd pretended to be married on television but real jealousy or displeasure at the fact that he'd be passionately kissing another woman. But she'd been very 'mature' and dismissed it saying that it was work so he had to do what he had to do.

It had annoyed him and prompted him to argue once again that it was time they came clean about their relationship if not to the world but at least to each other but as usual, she brought up his career and age and how they should just keep things simple with no complications. She claimed that his career was at a critical stage and there was no need for her to bring in any added tension to his life but why couldn't she see that this uncertainty about them was the biggest tension in his life?

When he explained to her that she was more important to him than his career could ever be, and that it he'd be willing to give it up if that was what she needed to come to a proper decision about them, she didn't talk to him for a week.

He didn't understand what she was so scared of and in his heart, there was no question that she loved him after all, this weekend, just like every weekend before he had to film a drama, they made sure they spent as much time as they could together because once filming began, he was usually far too occupied with the different facets of his work be it learning his lines, promotion, building a relationship with his cast members or whatever else to fully devote much time to her especially as she refused to even visit him on the set.

He walked into the kitchen to brew some coffee. As the coffee slowly dripped into the pot, he angrily hit the kitchen counter. He was just frustrated with having to be so secretive about their relationship, about having to be the one to always put his heart on the line to verbally reassure her that he wanted to be with her.

But when it got tiring and he thought of giving her an ultimatum or threatening to end things, a little voice inside of him warned that she just might take him up on his offer and he was way too chicken to risk losing her forever.

Hyun Joong was about to pour himself a cup of coffee when his phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Where are you now?" his manager asked from the other end of the line.

"At Hwangbo's. Why?" he asked as he walked over to her fridge to get some milk.

"OH SH.IT!" his manager exclaimed. "Get on your computer right now and go to Yahoo."

Five minutes later, Hyun Joong's mouth was ajar as he stared at the single headline:

"SINGER HWANGBO AND SINGER/ACTOR KIM HYUN JOONG IN SECRET AFFAIR?"

Right under the headline was a photo that was obviously taken in front of her apartment building. From their clothes, he could tell that it had been taken almost a year earlier, shortly after he'd lost out on the Popularity award at the MBC awards ceremony for the second drama he'd done after Boys Before Flowers.

He hadn't been that depressed about the loss but seeing how upset Hwangbo had been for him, he'd pretended to because he knew that she'd take really good care of him and he treasured every moment she dotted over him.

Objectively, the picture really wasn't that damaging. They weren't making out or anything of that nature but judging from the intimate way she held onto his arm, it wouldn't be a huge leap for anyone to guess that they were together.

The first thing that popped into his mind was what Hwangbo's reaction would be and he instantly knew that he had to find a way to bury this story. He picked up his phone and called his manager. "Is there anything we can do?"

"Like what? Do you know what time it is? It has already spread. I just got reports that there are some reporters waiting outside of both of your apartment buildings."

Hyun Joong hissed. "But surely—"

"Oh, the coffee smells soooooooooooo good," Hwangbo said as she walked out of her bedroom.

Panicked, Hyun Joong quickly closed his laptop and hung up the phone. What exactly was he going to tell her?

A few minutes later, she walked out, smiling at him, looking tiny in one of his old t-shirts.


Still oblivious to the situation, she giggled then skipped over to him and sat on his lap. She took a sip of his coffee. "Hmm... this tastes so good."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yes. This was a present from your fanclub, right? Where did you say the coffee was from?"

Hyun Joong looked at her but didn't say anything. His brain couldn't focus enough to think of the answer to her question.


He tried to smile but his mind was racing out of control.


He already knew that if he said anything about the reporters, she'd go ballistic.

It wasn't her going ballistic that really bothered him, but that maybe, just maybe this was the excuse she'd been waiting for.

An excuse to end it all. The reason she'd never fully committed to them.


***

Hwangbo was still rambling when she noticed that he wasn't really paying attention to her. She stopped talking and studied his face.

Why was he acting strangely?

They only had one more day together before he'd be focused on his drama and that was usually when he got whiny and wanted to have deep conversations about their relationship and where they were headed and how he wanted her to come and see him on the set. And how they didn't have to be so discreet that they only stayed in contact electronically.

She frowned at him. "You know I'm sitting on your lap, right?" she reminded him.

"Yeah?" he replied, his voice sounding faraway.

"You haven't kissed me yet."

She expected him to say something about her going to brush her teeth first or some random comment but instead, he just smiled and kissed her cheek.

She felt her chest tightening as nerves began to take over. Okay, something was definitely not right.

"Are you okay?" she asked, slowly getting off his lap.

"Yes," he said, giving her that fake smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.

She could feel her heartbeat quicken as she grew more worried.

***

His eyes followed her as she walked into the kitchen, wondering how he should break the news to her.

His phone rang. He looked at his caller ID and saw his manager's name.

"I'm parked near Hwangbo's building."

"Okay..." Hyun Joong looked up to see Hwangbo staring at him suspiciously.

"There are reporters here. They aren't even bothering to hide."

"I see." He watched her walk out of the kitchen and towards the living room.

"Have you turned the T.V. on yet?"

"No," he replied, pasting a fake smile on his face hoping to throw Hwangbo off.

"Well, it's already made the entertainment news shows. They started showing clips of WGM and wondering if your affair started there."

Hyun Joong cringed at the word 'affair' because it made it sound like they were involved in something clandestine when in reality, they were just two people who liked to spend time together. "I see," was all he could say. He was about to say something else when she saw Hwangbo reach out for the T.V remote control.

In a matter of seconds, he ran across the room and grabbed it from her.

She looked at him in shock. "What's wrong with you?"

He shook his head. "Let's not watch TV."

"Why not?"

As it usually happened at times like this, his brain froze and he couldn't conjure any reasonable excuse. So instead, he bent over and kissed her full on the lips.

***

About two hours later, showered and dressed, Hwangbo emerged from the bedroom and grabbed her keys. "Hey, I'm going to quickly run to the store to get some things... is there anything special you want for lunch or dinner? I could grab some stuff."

Hyun Joong looked at her nervously. He still hadn't told her what was going on and it wasn't like he could use sex every time she was close to finding out about their scandal. He'd already come up with a bogus excuse to keep her from drawing the blinds and looking outside her window. And there was no way she was going to walk out of the apartment without getting bombarded by the press.

"Why do you need to go to the store?"

She lifted her eyebrow, "I have stuff to get. Remember I was going to go shopping yesterday but you whined that you didn't want me to leave? Well, I really need to go - we are on the last roll of toilet paper."

He took a deep breath in. The time had come. He opened up his laptop and showed her the article.

Twenty minutes later, Hyun Joong and Hwangbo turned off the television after watching the fifth news clip about their relationship.

"I'm so sorry...." Hyun Joong started to say. It was the first thing he'd said since showing her the article. Her reaction was exactly as he'd expected. She yelled in shock then pushed him off the chair and surfed different websites to see if the news had spread and surely, it had. Then she'd turned on the television to see if there were any reports.

Hwangbo turned to him and smiled in fake cheer. "Sorry about what? It's not a big deal. These things happen."

"What do you mean?"

She quickly stood up and grabbed her car keys. "I'm going to the store."

"What??"

She shrugged like she didn't know why he was surprised. "I have things to buy, you know?"

"But there are reporters out there."

"And so what? I live here. Am I not allowed to leave my apartment on a Sunday afternoon?"

"But they are going to ask you about us." Why was she acting like she didn't get it?

"So what? There's nothing to tell."

Hyun Joong's body sank into the couch. But it didn't sink nearly as far as his heart. "There's nothing to tell? Hwang Bo Hye Jung, there's nothing to tell?" he said under his breath.



***

Hwangbo turned away so that she couldn't see all the pain written on his face. She knew what it was like to have a large number of antis and really didn't want him to experience the same thing. No matter what he said, no matter how idealistic he was, she knew that his fans would turn against him. She was too old, not pretty enough, not successful enough, or whatever reason they could come up with to express their dissatisfaction and many had been disappointed and abandoned him three years ago when they were just pretending to be a couple so if it became real, that they finally saw that they were together, she just knew that it would be devastating to his career. And she knew how hard he worked and how much it meant to him.

She was about to turn to him when her phone rang so she answered it. "Hwangbo, are you okay?" Jun Jin's voice asked from the other end.

"Yes."

"So it's over now. You can finally be free. You can finally tell the world how you feel about him. You no longer have to hide."

She sighed. That was the last thing she needed to hear. "I'll call you back," she said before hanging up the phone. The only freedom that came with the scandal was the freedom from their relationship. A scandal meant that the end had finally arrived because she knew that there was no relationship for them outside of the little world they created behind closed doors.

She needed some time to clear her head. She never should have agreed to appear on We Got Married. She should have just ended it on Halla mountain like they'd planned. She needed some time away from him. She needed to quickly come to terms with the end. She had to fight the tears that were threatening to brim over. She needed some time alone. Without turning around, she told him that she'd be back in a few minutes.

"Don't even think of taking another step," he said in the coldest voice she'd ever heard.

She turned around and saw the anger flash in his eye. "What did you just say to me?"

"I'm not letting you go out there and lie."

She swallowed hard and looked at him square in the eye, blinking rapidly to prevent tears from falling. "I'm not going to lie." How could she tell him that she wasn't even planning to leave the building and that she just needed to be away from him?

"'What are you going to tell the reporters when they ask you about me?"

She sighed and tried to maintain her composure. "What is there to say?"

Hwangbo waited for a retort but nothing came.

She waited for him to declare that he loved her and that the scandal didn't mean that it was over and that it just meant that it was time for them to publicly come clean. She expected him to passionately argue that they could make it together in the world and that they should spend some time coming up with the right statement to make to the public to somehow persuade them to accept their relationship.

She paced around, walked into her kitchen and got a glass of water, and she sipped the cold liquid, came up her list of responses and reasons why it was best they just parted ways because it was the best thing for both of them even though she'd never forget the three years they'd spent together and that it was time for them to make the right but difficult decision.

But he just sat quietly and stared into space.

From the way the vein in his head threatened to pop, she could tell that he was hurting. Really hurting. And it was breaking her heart. How could she console him when she knew that their relationship was on its last legs and that it wasn't long before they became strangers? But on the other hand, how could she just leave him alone? "You know what?" she said, dropping her keys on the table, "I think there might be something I can cook."

Hyun Joong didn't say anything. He just watched as she fretted around, suddenly talking about everything without really saying anything.

***


Hours passed by without the reporters or the incident being mentioned between them. There were numerous calls from friends and reporters, and they reassured all their friends that they are okay while giving the reporters the standard "no comment" response. Hyun Joong's manager called and said that they'd scanned the building and there was pretty much no way to get out unnoticed. The reporters were surrounding both their apartment buildings and it looked like they were going to camp out till either of them came out. They'd even contacted the police but the reporters weren't breaking any trespassing laws so they were of no help.


It was clear that there was no way out.

They ate dinner in silence.

As Hwangbo cleared their dishes, Hyun Joong tried to bring the topic up but at this point, Hwangbo had already made peace with the inevitable. She'd already come to terms with the fact that it was their last day together. And talking about it would only lead to tears and she didn't want his last memory of her to be one with tears.

So she didn't want to talk about it. In fact, she wanted to talk about anything but it. She didn't want to have to face reality till she absolutely had to. So if it meant pretending that there was nothing wrong, that they wouldn't have to break up, then so be it.

After dinner, she showered and walked over to her bedroom and waited for him.

It was scary how her heart had begun to ache. Not the dull ache one expected at times like this but a sharp constant ache that she couldn't ignore.

Why couldn't he just be his usual self on their last day together so that she could savor it for as long as possible? He was being far too quiet even for him. An hour went by and he didn't come to her. She lay in bed and thought about all the times they'd spent together. And even though they had to be discreet, they couldn't go out together, they couldn't go on vacations, to public places, were restricted to only certain events, even though she'd had to sacrifice a lot just so that she could be with him, she'd been happy.

It was true – she'd been happy.

A lot happier than she'd been willing to admit. She'd always known that their last day would come, so she'd tried her best not to get attached but slowly but surely, she'd fallen in love with him. Not in that passionate way people fell in love in high school but in the unnoticeable way one didn't realize till they were in over their heads.

And now that they only had a few hours together, now that she had to make their best memories together, he was sitting all by himself in the living room. This could not be it.

Determined to have it end on a beautiful note, she got off the bed and went to him.

"Aren't you coming to bed?" she asked. "You have to be on set at 7am, don't you?"

"I do."

"So aren't you coming to sleep?"

"No."

Hwangbo sighed. Why did he have to be like that? She stood there watching him silently with her heart in her throat as the word 'no' hung in the air.

Just as she turned to leave, he said, "You know I love you, right?"

***

"Yes."

So why can't you fight for us? Hyun Joong wanted to yell. Why was he so easy to discard? Did she really not think that he was worth the fight?

Am I not good enough for you? He silently asked as he heard her retreating back to the bedroom. He sighed as he bent his head over in defeat. So it was really over. Right then, he knew that the words, "There's nothing to tell" would haunt him for the rest of his life.

***

The next morning, Hwangbo woke up to the sound of her phone ringing.

"Where are you?" Jun Jin asked.

She yawned and looked at her alarm clock. "Where do you think I am? It's like 6:15am."

"I'm watching a live feed on the internet. He's not saying anything but the reporters won't let him leave."

"What are you talking about?" she asked groggily.

"Kim Hyun Joong! Who else would I be talking about?"

"Huh?" Hwangbo asked, suddenly alert.

"Look outside your window!"

A few seconds later, Hwangbo was watching Hyun Joong standing out in the cold helplessly with what looked like tens of reporters shining their lights and cameras on him.

The first thing she felt was panic - this nightmarish scene she'd imagined for years had finally come to be.

But on the other hand, it wasn't as bad as she'd thought. It wasn't like a scene from a zombie movie with dismembered body parts strewn across the street. It was just a man standing in the midst of scoop-hungry reporters.

And Hyun Joong… her dear, dear Hyun Joong was not cowering away from them. Instead, from what she could see, he had his usual blank expression like he really didn't give a d**n about them.

For real? He was being sincere when he said he really didn't care about all this? Really?

Her heart jumped. For real?


"What are you going to do?" she heard Jun Jin ask. "You love him, don't you?"

Of course she loved him. That question had become redundant for a while now. It was because she loved him that she'd tried to hang on for as long as possible, sneaking and hiding, even if it meant that she'd only be able to spend a few minutes with him. A few minutes that would become so precious she'd hold them close to her heart for the days they were apart. But as she watched him standing a few hundred feet away, the beginning of what would become their final separation – he suddenly felt so far, so far that she could no longer sense him as that constant factor in her life she'd become so comfortable with. And she felt so empty. Emptier than she'd ever felt before she'd ever met him. He'd carved a hole in her heart and she already knew that nothing else could fill it. Could she really bear this emptiness for the rest of her life?


Without responding to Jun Jin, she hung up, grabbed her robe, picked up her house keys and opened the door.

Yes, she was being stupid – that was beyond obvious.

Yes, she was possibly throwing her career into the toilet.

She knew she was making herself the number one topic in many of Korea's search engines.

But so what?

All the pain from that seem to pale in comparison with the pain she already begun to feel.

Besides, the deed had already been done. Leaving him didn't mean they wouldn't face the netizen's wrath, or that they'd no longer be fodder for gossip or that she wouldn't get questioned about this everywhere she went. Or that she wouldn't be called a cougar, or that his fans wouldn't hate her.

Why go through all that and lose him too? Why suffer all that for nothing? It made no sense. She didn't care if she was just psyching in order to convince herself she was making the right decision. The truth was that no matter how much she'd tried to prepare herself, she couldn't not be with him.

She ran into the hallway and past the elevators. Somehow, the adrenaline had taken complete control of her and she didn't even have the patience to stop and wait for the elevator to arrive at her floor. She skipped down the stairs and before she knew it, was running out of her building. Before she could catch her breath, the reporters noticed her and ran towards her.

As the lights moved closer, she smoothed her hair with her palm even though she realized it wouldn't do much – she probably looked like mini cooper. And her breath was most likely worse. But it didn't matter anyway – all she could see was Hyun Joong standing a few feet away, turning around to look at her. And somehow, that gave her more strength to face it after all, they were in it together.

"Hwangbo-ssi, what's your relationship with Kim Hyun Joong?" a voice she recognized asked. She turned to look at the familiar face and when their eyes met, she smiled. A few days earlier, she'd shared a bottle of soju with him at a friend's farewell party but at the crack of dawn on a Monday morning, he'd turned from friend to foe. But such was life in the entertainment world. She took a deep breath in and glanced at Hyun Joong again.

He was looking intently at her and from the way his nostrils flared, she could tell that he was nervous about what she was going to say. But when she looked back at him, silently telling him that everything would be okay, she saw the relief encompass his face. He nodded at her and she felt his support again.

She turned back to the reporter and took a deep breath in. "What kind of relationship do you think we have? You caught him leaving my apartment at 6'oclock in the morning, didn't you?"

Even though she didn't look at Hyun Joong, she already knew that he was giving her a disapproving looking but did she really have to play nice today of all days? It was okay to be sarcaastic once in a while.


"Are you admitting to a relationship with Kim Hyun Joong ssi?" another reporter asked, shoving his recorder at her mouth.

She looked over at Hyun Joong and watched him walk towards her and without taking her eyes of him, she said, "Yes, I'm admitting to it." Hell yeah, she was admitting it. Looking at his face with the soft glow of the rising sun shinning on it, had she ever seen a man so handsome?

"What kind of relationship?"

She averted her gaze back to the reporter and took another deep breath in. If she'd already come this far, she might as well go all the way. "I love him."

Just as the words escaped her mouth, she saw some people she recognized clawing through the crowd and in a matter of seconds, they pulled her away.

It certainly took the DSP bodyguards long enough to show up.

They shoved her into a car and a few seconds later, they were driving off.

She sat there, her heart beating furiously as she replayed everything she'd just done, with the implications slowly sinking in when she felt a hand cover hers. She looked up to see Hyun Joong's smiling face.

"I'm happy," he said.

She frowned. "What's there to be happy about? We're in the middle of a scandal."

He shrugged. "And?"

She sighed and rested her back on the car seat. "My career is over." She paused. "Your career is over."

He shook his head vehemently. "No, it's not. I'm going to make sure it isn't."

She smiled and looked out of the window, noticing how pretty the streets looked as the darkness slowly lifted and the city stirred out of silence. She thought of the millions of people waking up, preparing to begin yet another day of their lives. As they took their showers and prepared their breakfasts, she wondered what they were all thinking. And if they thought about the various little obstacles and challenges they'd have to overcome just to make it through the day.


She turned to Hyun Joong and smiled. Regardless of how determined they were, as entertainers, their careers depended largely on their audience – and if the audience turned their backs on them, no amount of determination could change it. That was their challenge.

She tightened her grip on Hyun Joong's hand.


"Are you okay?" he asked, looking at her worriedly. "We're going to get through this - I promise."


She smiled and nodded. "I know." It had finally become clear to her that they were in it together. And regardless of the challenges they faced, they'd get through them together and somehow, that was all that seemed to matter.





THE END



[color=Blue]Disclaimer: This is a complete work of fiction and I do not know Hwangbo or Hyun Joong personally nor do I claim any characteristics portrayed here are possessed by any of the real life persons.





A/N: Please forgive any grammatical errors. [/color]Hyun Joong carefully got off the bed. It had been three years since they'd been together and things had changed quite a bit.

Boys Before Flowers had been a huge success and turned him into a Hallyu star. As a result, he regretted that lately, he'd been in SS501 in name only, but that wasn't his only regret.

He turned to watch Hwangbo as she slept peacefully.

Their relationship… he sighed as he watched her chest lift up and down in a pattern that had become very familiar to him. In the three years they'd been together, she'd never actually come out and said that they were indeed together.

He loved her but with her, it had been one drama after the other. At first, she didn't want to be with him because of the age difference. When she got over that, her next excuse was that he was a member of an idol band and she didn't want to come in the way of him and his fans. When his acting career took off, she said that he was too famous and she didn't want to hurt his career.

But when she felt lonely, she called him. When she felt happy, she called him. When she was sad, she called him. In her apartment, their cars, in secret, they were together and were, in every respect, a couple.


He'd introduced her to all of his family and she and his mother had become friends but so far, he'd only met her mom once and that had been by chance.

In bed, she was passionate, and even though she always appeared to have this lively personality, underneath it all, when it came to the emotional part of their relationship, she was cool.

He remembered showing her the script for the bed scene in his last drama, and it was quite risqué and the director was known for being rather explicit in his direction.

He knew that he was being childish, but he'd hoped to make her mad or at least to see a sign of jealousy, not the fake jealously she displayed when she'd pretended to be married on television but real jealousy or displeasure at the fact that he'd be passionately kissing another woman. But she'd been very 'mature' and dismissed it saying that it was work so he had to do what he had to do.

It had annoyed him and prompted him to argue once again that it was time they came clean about their relationship if not to the world but at least to each other but as usual, she brought up his career and age and how they should just keep things simple with no complications. She claimed that his career was at a critical stage and there was no need for her to bring in any added tension to his life but why couldn't she see that this uncertainty about them was the biggest tension in his life?

When he explained to her that she was more important to him than his career could ever be, and that it he'd be willing to give it up if that was what she needed to come to a proper decision about them, she didn't talk to him for a week.

He didn't understand what she was so scared of and in his heart, there was no question that she loved him after all, this weekend, just like every weekend before he had to film a drama, they made sure they spent as much time as they could together because once filming began, he was usually far too occupied with the different facets of his work be it learning his lines, promotion, building a relationship with his cast members or whatever else to fully devote much time to her especially as she refused to even visit him on the set.

He walked into the kitchen to brew some coffee. As the coffee slowly dripped into the pot, he angrily hit the kitchen counter. He was just frustrated with having to be so secretive about their relationship, about having to be the one to always put his heart on the line to verbally reassure her that he wanted to be with her.

But when it got tiring and he thought of giving her an ultimatum or threatening to end things, a little voice inside of him warned that she just might take him up on his offer and he was way too chicken to risk losing her forever.

Hyun Joong was about to pour himself a cup of coffee when his phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Where are you now?" his manager asked from the other end of the line.

"At Hwangbo's. Why?" he asked as he walked over to her fridge to get some milk.

"OH SH.IT!" his manager exclaimed. "Get on your computer right now and go to Yahoo."

Five minutes later, Hyun Joong's mouth was ajar as he stared at the single headline:

"SINGER HWANGBO AND SINGER/ACTOR KIM HYUN JOONG IN SECRET AFFAIR?"

Right under the headline was a photo that was obviously taken in front of her apartment building. From their clothes, he could tell that it had been taken almost a year earlier, shortly after he'd lost out on the Popularity award at the MBC awards ceremony for the second drama he'd done after Boys Before Flowers.

He hadn't been that depressed about the loss but seeing how upset Hwangbo had been for him, he'd pretended to because he knew that she'd take really good care of him and he treasured every moment she dotted over him.

Objectively, the picture really wasn't that damaging. They weren't making out or anything of that nature but judging from the intimate way she held onto his arm, it wouldn't be a huge leap for anyone to guess that they were together.

The first thing that popped into his mind was what Hwangbo's reaction would be and he instantly knew that he had to find a way to bury this story. He picked up his phone and called his manager. "Is there anything we can do?"

"Like what? Do you know what time it is? It has already spread. I just got reports that there are some reporters waiting outside of both of your apartment buildings."

Hyun Joong hissed. "But surely—"

"Oh, the coffee smells soooooooooooo good," Hwangbo said as she walked out of her bedroom.

Panicked, Hyun Joong quickly closed his laptop and hung up the phone. What exactly was he going to tell her?

A few minutes later, she walked out, smiling at him, looking tiny in one of his old t-shirts.


Still oblivious to the situation, she giggled then skipped over to him and sat on his lap. She took a sip of his coffee. "Hmm... this tastes so good."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yes. This was a present from your fanclub, right? Where did you say the coffee was from?"

Hyun Joong looked at her but didn't say anything. His brain couldn't focus enough to think of the answer to her question.


He tried to smile but his mind was racing out of control.


He already knew that if he said anything about the reporters, she'd go ballistic.

It wasn't her going ballistic that really bothered him, but that maybe, just maybe this was the excuse she'd been waiting for.

An excuse to end it all. The reason she'd never fully committed to them.


***

Hwangbo was still rambling when she noticed that he wasn't really paying attention to her. She stopped talking and studied his face.

Why was he acting strangely?

They only had one more day together before he'd be focused on his drama and that was usually when he got whiny and wanted to have deep conversations about their relationship and where they were headed and how he wanted her to come and see him on the set. And how they didn't have to be so discreet that they only stayed in contact electronically.

She frowned at him. "You know I'm sitting on your lap, right?" she reminded him.

"Yeah?" he replied, his voice sounding faraway.

"You haven't kissed me yet."

She expected him to say something about her going to brush her teeth first or some random comment but instead, he just smiled and kissed her cheek.

She felt her chest tightening as nerves began to take over. Okay, something was definitely not right.

"Are you okay?" she asked, slowly getting off his lap.

"Yes," he said, giving her that fake smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.

She could feel her heartbeat quicken as she grew more worried.

***

His eyes followed her as she walked into the kitchen, wondering how he should break the news to her.

His phone rang. He looked at his caller ID and saw his manager's name.

"I'm parked near Hwangbo's building."

"Okay..." Hyun Joong looked up to see Hwangbo staring at him suspiciously.

"There are reporters here. They aren't even bothering to hide."

"I see." He watched her walk out of the kitchen and towards the living room.

"Have you turned the T.V. on yet?"

"No," he replied, pasting a fake smile on his face hoping to throw Hwangbo off.

"Well, it's already made the entertainment news shows. They started showing clips of WGM and wondering if your affair started there."

Hyun Joong cringed at the word 'affair' because it made it sound like they were involved in something clandestine when in reality, they were just two people who liked to spend time together. "I see," was all he could say. He was about to say something else when she saw Hwangbo reach out for the T.V remote control.

In a matter of seconds, he ran across the room and grabbed it from her.

She looked at him in shock. "What's wrong with you?"

He shook his head. "Let's not watch TV."

"Why not?"

As it usually happened at times like this, his brain froze and he couldn't conjure any reasonable excuse. So instead, he bent over and kissed her full on the lips.

***

About two hours later, showered and dressed, Hwangbo emerged from the bedroom and grabbed her keys. "Hey, I'm going to quickly run to the store to get some things... is there anything special you want for lunch or dinner? I could grab some stuff."

Hyun Joong looked at her nervously. He still hadn't told her what was going on and it wasn't like he could use sex every time she was close to finding out about their scandal. He'd already come up with a bogus excuse to keep her from drawing the blinds and looking outside her window. And there was no way she was going to walk out of the apartment without getting bombarded by the press.

"Why do you need to go to the store?"

She lifted her eyebrow, "I have stuff to get. Remember I was going to go shopping yesterday but you whined that you didn't want me to leave? Well, I really need to go - we are on the last roll of toilet paper."

He took a deep breath in. The time had come. He opened up his laptop and showed her the article.

Twenty minutes later, Hyun Joong and Hwangbo turned off the television after watching the fifth news clip about their relationship.

"I'm so sorry...." Hyun Joong started to say. It was the first thing he'd said since showing her the article. Her reaction was exactly as he'd expected. She yelled in shock then pushed him off the chair and surfed different websites to see if the news had spread and surely, it had. Then she'd turned on the television to see if there were any reports.

Hwangbo turned to him and smiled in fake cheer. "Sorry about what? It's not a big deal. These things happen."

"What do you mean?"

She quickly stood up and grabbed her car keys. "I'm going to the store."

"What??"

She shrugged like she didn't know why he was surprised. "I have things to buy, you know?"

"But there are reporters out there."

"And so what? I live here. Am I not allowed to leave my apartment on a Sunday afternoon?"

"But they are going to ask you about us." Why was she acting like she didn't get it?

"So what? There's nothing to tell."

Hyun Joong's body sank into the couch. But it didn't sink nearly as far as his heart. "There's nothing to tell? Hwang Bo Hye Jung, there's nothing to tell?" he said under his breath.



***

Hwangbo turned away so that she couldn't see all the pain written on his face. She knew what it was like to have a large number of antis and really didn't want him to experience the same thing. No matter what he said, no matter how idealistic he was, she knew that his fans would turn against him. She was too old, not pretty enough, not successful enough, or whatever reason they could come up with to express their dissatisfaction and many had been disappointed and abandoned him three years ago when they were just pretending to be a couple so if it became real, that they finally saw that they were together, she just knew that it would be devastating to his career. And she knew how hard he worked and how much it meant to him.

She was about to turn to him when her phone rang so she answered it. "Hwangbo, are you okay?" Jun Jin's voice asked from the other end.

"Yes."

"So it's over now. You can finally be free. You can finally tell the world how you feel about him. You no longer have to hide."

She sighed. That was the last thing she needed to hear. "I'll call you back," she said before hanging up the phone. The only freedom that came with the scandal was the freedom from their relationship. A scandal meant that the end had finally arrived because she knew that there was no relationship for them outside of the little world they created behind closed doors.

She needed some time to clear her head. She never should have agreed to appear on We Got Married. She should have just ended it on Halla mountain like they'd planned. She needed some time away from him. She needed to quickly come to terms with the end. She had to fight the tears that were threatening to brim over. She needed some time alone. Without turning around, she told him that she'd be back in a few minutes.

"Don't even think of taking another step," he said in the coldest voice she'd ever heard.

She turned around and saw the anger flash in his eye. "What did you just say to me?"

"I'm not letting you go out there and lie."

She swallowed hard and looked at him square in the eye, blinking rapidly to prevent tears from falling. "I'm not going to lie." How could she tell him that she wasn't even planning to leave the building and that she just needed to be away from him?

"'What are you going to tell the reporters when they ask you about me?"

She sighed and tried to maintain her composure. "What is there to say?"

Hwangbo waited for a retort but nothing came.

She waited for him to declare that he loved her and that the scandal didn't mean that it was over and that it just meant that it was time for them to publicly come clean. She expected him to passionately argue that they could make it together in the world and that they should spend some time coming up with the right statement to make to the public to somehow persuade them to accept their relationship.

She paced around, walked into her kitchen and got a glass of water, and she sipped the cold liquid, came up her list of responses and reasons why it was best they just parted ways because it was the best thing for both of them even though she'd never forget the three years they'd spent together and that it was time for them to make the right but difficult decision.

But he just sat quietly and stared into space.

From the way the vein in his head threatened to pop, she could tell that he was hurting. Really hurting. And it was breaking her heart. How could she console him when she knew that their relationship was on its last legs and that it wasn't long before they became strangers? But on the other hand, how could she just leave him alone? "You know what?" she said, dropping her keys on the table, "I think there might be something I can cook."

Hyun Joong didn't say anything. He just watched as she fretted around, suddenly talking about everything without really saying anything.

***


Hours passed by without the reporters or the incident being mentioned between them. There were numerous calls from friends and reporters, and they reassured all their friends that they are okay while giving the reporters the standard "no comment" response. Hyun Joong's manager called and said that they'd scanned the building and there was pretty much no way to get out unnoticed. The reporters were surrounding both their apartment buildings and it looked like they were going to camp out till either of them came out. They'd even contacted the police but the reporters weren't breaking any trespassing laws so they were of no help.


It was clear that there was no way out.

They ate dinner in silence.

As Hwangbo cleared their dishes, Hyun Joong tried to bring the topic up but at this point, Hwangbo had already made peace with the inevitable. She'd already come to terms with the fact that it was their last day together. And talking about it would only lead to tears and she didn't want his last memory of her to be one with tears.

So she didn't want to talk about it. In fact, she wanted to talk about anything but it. She didn't want to have to face reality till she absolutely had to. So if it meant pretending that there was nothing wrong, that they wouldn't have to break up, then so be it.

After dinner, she showered and walked over to her bedroom and waited for him.

It was scary how her heart had begun to ache. Not the dull ache one expected at times like this but a sharp constant ache that she couldn't ignore.

Why couldn't he just be his usual self on their last day together so that she could savor it for as long as possible? He was being far too quiet even for him. An hour went by and he didn't come to her. She lay in bed and thought about all the times they'd spent together. And even though they had to be discreet, they couldn't go out together, they couldn't go on vacations, to public places, were restricted to only certain events, even though she'd had to sacrifice a lot just so that she could be with him, she'd been happy.

It was true – she'd been happy.

A lot happier than she'd been willing to admit. She'd always known that their last day would come, so she'd tried her best not to get attached but slowly but surely, she'd fallen in love with him. Not in that passionate way people fell in love in high school but in the unnoticeable way one didn't realize till they were in over their heads.

And now that they only had a few hours together, now that she had to make their best memories together, he was sitting all by himself in the living room. This could not be it.

Determined to have it end on a beautiful note, she got off the bed and went to him.

"Aren't you coming to bed?" she asked. "You have to be on set at 7am, don't you?"

"I do."

"So aren't you coming to sleep?"

"No."

Hwangbo sighed. Why did he have to be like that? She stood there watching him silently with her heart in her throat as the word 'no' hung in the air.

Just as she turned to leave, he said, "You know I love you, right?"

***

"Yes."

So why can't you fight for us? Hyun Joong wanted to yell. Why was he so easy to discard? Did she really not think that he was worth the fight?

Am I not good enough for you? He silently asked as he heard her retreating back to the bedroom. He sighed as he bent his head over in defeat. So it was really over. Right then, he knew that the words, "There's nothing to tell" would haunt him for the rest of his life.

***

The next morning, Hwangbo woke up to the sound of her phone ringing.

"Where are you?" Jun Jin asked.

She yawned and looked at her alarm clock. "Where do you think I am? It's like 6:15am."

"I'm watching a live feed on the internet. He's not saying anything but the reporters won't let him leave."

"What are you talking about?" she asked groggily.

"Kim Hyun Joong! Who else would I be talking about?"

"Huh?" Hwangbo asked, suddenly alert.

"Look outside your window!"

A few seconds later, Hwangbo was watching Hyun Joong standing out in the cold helplessly with what looked like tens of reporters shining their lights and cameras on him.

The first thing she felt was panic - this nightmarish scene she'd imagined for years had finally come to be.

But on the other hand, it wasn't as bad as she'd thought. It wasn't like a scene from a zombie movie with dismembered body parts strewn across the street. It was just a man standing in the midst of scoop-hungry reporters.

And Hyun Joong… her dear, dear Hyun Joong was not cowering away from them. Instead, from what she could see, he had his usual blank expression like he really didn't give a d**n about them.

For real? He was being sincere when he said he really didn't care about all this? Really?

Her heart jumped. For real?


"What are you going to do?" she heard Jun Jin ask. "You love him, don't you?"

Of course she loved him. That question had become redundant for a while now. It was because she loved him that she'd tried to hang on for as long as possible, sneaking and hiding, even if it meant that she'd only be able to spend a few minutes with him. A few minutes that would become so precious she'd hold them close to her heart for the days they were apart. But as she watched him standing a few hundred feet away, the beginning of what would become their final separation – he suddenly felt so far, so far that she could no longer sense him as that constant factor in her life she'd become so comfortable with. And she felt so empty. Emptier than she'd ever felt before she'd ever met him. He'd carved a hole in her heart and she already knew that nothing else could fill it. Could she really bear this emptiness for the rest of her life?


Without responding to Jun Jin, she hung up, grabbed her robe, picked up her house keys and opened the door.

Yes, she was being stupid – that was beyond obvious.

Yes, she was possibly throwing her career into the toilet.

She knew she was making herself the number one topic in many of Korea's search engines.

But so what?

All the pain from that seem to pale in comparison with the pain she already begun to feel.

Besides, the deed had already been done. Leaving him didn't mean they wouldn't face the netizen's wrath, or that they'd no longer be fodder for gossip or that she wouldn't get questioned about this everywhere she went. Or that she wouldn't be called a cougar, or that his fans wouldn't hate her.

Why go through all that and lose him too? Why suffer all that for nothing? It made no sense. She didn't care if she was just psyching in order to convince herself she was making the right decision. The truth was that no matter how much she'd tried to prepare herself, she couldn't not be with him.

She ran into the hallway and past the elevators. Somehow, the adrenaline had taken complete control of her and she didn't even have the patience to stop and wait for the elevator to arrive at her floor. She skipped down the stairs and before she knew it, was running out of her building. Before she could catch her breath, the reporters noticed her and ran towards her.

As the lights moved closer, she smoothed her hair with her palm even though she realized it wouldn't do much – she probably looked like mini cooper. And her breath was most likely worse. But it didn't matter anyway – all she could see was Hyun Joong standing a few feet away, turning around to look at her. And somehow, that gave her more strength to face it after all, they were in it together.

"Hwangbo-ssi, what's your relationship with Kim Hyun Joong?" a voice she recognized asked. She turned to look at the familiar face and when their eyes met, she smiled. A few days earlier, she'd shared a bottle of soju with him at a friend's farewell party but at the crack of dawn on a Monday morning, he'd turned from friend to foe. But such was life in the entertainment world. She took a deep breath in and glanced at Hyun Joong again.

He was looking intently at her and from the way his nostrils flared, she could tell that he was nervous about what she was going to say. But when she looked back at him, silently telling him that everything would be okay, she saw the relief encompass his face. He nodded at her and she felt his support again.

She turned back to the reporter and took a deep breath in. "What kind of relationship do you think we have? You caught him leaving my apartment at 6'oclock in the morning, didn't you?"

Even though she didn't look at Hyun Joong, she already knew that he was giving her a disapproving looking but did she really have to play nice today of all days? It was okay to be sarcaastic once in a while.


"Are you admitting to a relationship with Kim Hyun Joong ssi?" another reporter asked, shoving his recorder at her mouth.

She looked over at Hyun Joong and watched him walk towards her and without taking her eyes of him, she said, "Yes, I'm admitting to it." Hell yeah, she was admitting it. Looking at his face with the soft glow of the rising sun shinning on it, had she ever seen a man so handsome?

"What kind of relationship?"

She averted her gaze back to the reporter and took another deep breath in. If she'd already come this far, she might as well go all the way. "I love him."

Just as the words escaped her mouth, she saw some people she recognized clawing through the crowd and in a matter of seconds, they pulled her away.

It certainly took the DSP bodyguards long enough to show up.

They shoved her into a car and a few seconds later, they were driving off.

She sat there, her heart beating furiously as she replayed everything she'd just done, with the implications slowly sinking in when she felt a hand cover hers. She looked up to see Hyun Joong's smiling face.

"I'm happy," he said.

She frowned. "What's there to be happy about? We're in the middle of a scandal."

He shrugged. "And?"

She sighed and rested her back on the car seat. "My career is over." She paused. "Your career is over."

He shook his head vehemently. "No, it's not. I'm going to make sure it isn't."

She smiled and looked out of the window, noticing how pretty the streets looked as the darkness slowly lifted and the city stirred out of silence. She thought of the millions of people waking up, preparing to begin yet another day of their lives. As they took their showers and prepared their breakfasts, she wondered what they were all thinking. And if they thought about the various little obstacles and challenges they'd have to overcome just to make it through the day.


She turned to Hyun Joong and smiled. Regardless of how determined they were, as entertainers, their careers depended largely on their audience – and if the audience turned their backs on them, no amount of determination could change it. That was their challenge.

She tightened her grip on Hyun Joong's hand.


"Are you okay?" he asked, looking at her worriedly. "We're going to get through this - I promise."


She smiled and nodded. "I know." It had finally become clear to her that they were in it together. And regardless of the challenges they faced, they'd get through them together and somehow, that was all that seemed to matter.

THE END