Chapter One

I've arrived, Hyun Joong texted shortly after getting through Baggage Claim at Incheon Airport. He dropped the phone in his pocket as he walked slowly to the exit. He knew that word would probably have leaked about his return to Korea so he expected to meet at least a few enthusiastic fans. Shortly after, his phone buzzed so he pulled it out and read the reply. Welcome back, was all it said.

He smiled as he hit the reply button. He'd been hesitant to stay in touch with her, scared that she might not have any interest in retaining contact with him outside of the show but he'd quickly learned that she was just as friendly off screen. So after a few text message exchanges, they'd advanced to short phone conversations that increasingly became longer and more enjoyable. They'd inquiring about the other's wellbeing but now spoke frequently to share anecdotes of their day or just to talk about everything and nothing. He realized that he might have been tethering around the danger zone of their relationship when he realized that one of the reasons he was excited to return to Korea was to finally see her again. He didn't know what that initial meeting would be like but he was excited to find out.

Got any plans today? Want to hang out sometime this week? he texted before he slipped the phone back into his pocket and walked under the exit sign.

After scanning the crowd and spotting a familiar face, Hyun Joong quickly whizzed through the screams and towards his driver and even though he smiled when he felt his phone vibrate against his hip, he didn't stop moving till he was safely out of the airport and standing in front of his company's minivan.

He pulled out his phone while his luggage was being loaded into the car.

Maybe, it read.

He frowned. Maybe? Wondering exactly what that was supposed to mean, he slid the car door open.

"Surprise!"

If a wind had blow at that moment, he'd probably have been knocked out. Hwangbo? This was certainly not the first meeting he'd envisioned. It took about every ounce of energy he had to keep from covering his mouth with his hand and checking his breath. "Hwangbo?" he mouthed as she started at her. She was looking even prettier than he remembered. She let her hair down and he noticed that it was at least an inch longer than he remembered.

Staring back at him, she shifted uncomfortably in her blue jeans and folded her arms over her red sweater. "Was this a mistake?" she asked hesitantly. "I know how much you hate surprises."

He looked over at the front seat to send his manager an inquiring look but the older man appeared to be in the middle of an important phone conversation and was not paying any attention to him at all.

Hyun Joong looked back at her smiling face and slid into the car and shut the door. He noticed that his breathing had become heavier so he did his best to ignore it. He looked at her from the corner of his eye wondering what to do. Should he shake her hand? Or hug her? Tell her that he was happy to see her or not? What was the right thing to do when you were unexpectedly faced with someone you might or might not have feelings for? He took a deep breath in. "Hello," he said, waving unsurely.

The driver started the engine. "We're off."

Hwangbo glanced at the driver then waved back at Hyun Joong and laughed. "You're surprised, right? Very surprised," she said pointing at him enthusiastically.

Even though she was being lively, Hyun Joong could tell that she was nervous.

He nodded slowly. "I didn't expect to see you." It was quite suspicious, wasn't it? He looked around the van, searching for clues. "I don't see any cameras. We aren't on We Got Married, are we?" The contract had long ended but he wouldn't put anything past them. After all, it wouldn't be the first time they surprised him like that.

She hit him and burst into boisterous laughter. "Of course not."

"I see," he said before falling silent. Then what was it?

Hwangbo studied his face. "You're not unhappy, are you?"

He shook his head. "Not at all. I'm just surprised."

She let out a sigh of relief. "I was worried you'd be angry."

"No…" he said, his voice trailing. He suddenly felt the need to reassure her. He pulled out his phone and showed it to her. "I was going to text you back."

She laughed and took the phone from him. "I see you got a new one."

He nodded. "That one was getting too common – I got worried my phone was stolen every time I saw someone else with theirs."

She laughed as she turned the phone over and inspected it. "Is this a Nokia? I don't think I've ever seen this model," she stated before handing it back to him.

Hwangbo looked at him and when Hyun Joong noticed that the mood was getting awkward, he sat back in his seat and looked out of the window.

His mind was racing with so many thoughts least of which was regret that he'd been somewhat blind sighted. He really wished that he'd had some time to prepare for this meeting. Instead of having a conversation filled with laughter, they were silently sitting together in a van. He was still lost in his thoughts when they were interrupted by a loud clap.

He turned to her and raised his eyebrow questioningly.

"Do you have any plans this evening?" she asked, leaning towards him.

He shrugged. "I was just thinking of resting."

Her face fell. "Really? You're not hungry?"

He instinctively rubbed his belly. "I can eat," he said, partly because it was true and partly because he'd seen her reaction. "What do you have in mind?"

"I cooked a lot. If you don't mind coming to my place…"

"You're place?" He looked around the van again. "You're sure we're not on a show?"

Hwangbo burst out laughing again. She tapped his arm. "No."

"Okay," he said, not quite believing it. Why would she randomly invite him over?

"You'll come, won't you?" she asked, cajoling.

He nodded slowly. "Sure." How bad could it be?

She dramatically fell into her seat and let out a sigh of relief. "Great! They told me I couldn't return without you."

"They?" Hyun Joong repeated, instantly knowing that he wouldn't like what he was about to hear. He didn't mind spending time with her but he really wasn't in the mood to socialize with a large group.

"Yes. Crown J and In Young," she began, counting them off on her fingers, "Alex, Marco, In Young's sister, our first PD and some crew members. They said that this will probably be the last time they can see you before you run off and become too important to talk to them," she finished, laughing. She pointed at his manager. "I asked him if it would be okay for you to come and said it's up to you. If you're not too tired, we can go there now."



***

Almost as soon as Hwangbo walked into her apartment, she heard her doorbell ring. She sighed and turned around to look at the video intercom. She'd had a very long and hard day and wasn't expecting any company. When she saw who it was, she buzzed him in.

"Hello," Hyun Joong said, walking in. He held up a plastic bag. "I brought chicken."

"Really?" Hwangbo said, pouring herself a glass of water.

"Yes." He placed the bag on the kitchen counter. "Oh, before I forget," he said, turning to her. "Have you decided if you're coming to watch the last episode of Hana Yori Dango at my place?"

She didn't meet his eye. "This isn't an industry party, is it?" she asked, stifling a yawn.

He frowned and shook his head. He already knew what she was going to say next.

"So, I can't come. I don't feel like being involved in a scandal right now," she said offhandedly.

Hyun Joong sighed and walked over to her couch. It was a few months since she'd met him at the airport and they'd become really friendly since then. He'd found it a little difficult studying his lines amidst the noise at home or his friends' homes so she'd offered him her place and since then, he'd been a regular visitor. When she wasn't helping him with his lines, they were watching television, playing games or just hanging out and doing whatever they thought of that moment.

"Well, Hyun Joong, if you don't mind," she said, picking up her half filled glass of water and walking out of the kitchen, "I desperately need nap. You can save me some chicken and you can help yourself to any of the side dishes in the fridge."



***



Hwangbo emerged from the bedroom three hours later hungry and refreshed. She'd slept for much longer than she'd anticipated. She was walking through the living room and towards the kitchen when she noticed Hyun Joong's body sprawled across the floor. She laughed. It wasn't the most attractive of poses but as always, he looked cute – the boy couldn't help himself.

She walked over and kicked him. One of the disadvantages of having him over was that from time to time, she was saddled with the task of waking him up.

"Hyun Joong, wake up!" She kicked him. "Wake up!" But as expected, he didn't budge. She sighed then chuckled to herself. Maybe she had to make him sign a contract that if he wanted to keep coming to her place, he had to make sure he never slept there.

She knelt next to his body and watched the slight movements of his chest as slept. She noticed how his hair fell across his face and folded her arms tightly to keep from reaching over and touching it. Now that he'd finished filming Hana Yori Dango, he'd cut his hair and dyed it back to its natural color and she wasn't sure which haircut fit him better – he seemed to look good either way. She wondered if it was just because he was very good looking or that it had reached the point that he looked good to her no matter what he did.

She couldn't deny that she'd found herself caring about him a lot more than she'd intended but it wasn't a big deal – she was much older and they were just friends, right? And friends care about each other.

She reached across and shook his body vigorously. "Hyun Joong, wake up!"



***



Hyun Joong watched Hwangbo sit next to him on the couch. He took a peek at the plate in her hand. "Oranges? I thought you said you were hungry."

She shrugged. "It's already late so I shouldn't eat anything heavy."

He stretched then picked up the script he'd brought with him. He had a 9am meeting with the director the next day so he had to finish reading it tonight. It was a good thing that he'd taken a nap earlier because it looked like he'd have to pull an all nighter in order to get through it. It wasn't the most boring script he'd read but it was full of so much symbolism that he had to read every line twice to understand what the hell was going on.

"What's it about?" Hwangbo asked, gesturing at the script. "Is it another love story about a young boy in love with an old woman?" she teased.

He nodded solemnly. "I've really been typecast because of you." He waved the script around. "Can you believe that this is story about a boy who falls in love with his best friend's mother?"

"Really?"

"Yes. At least this one is better than my last script. In the last one, she was thirty-four years older."

"For real?" she asked in shock.

He turned to her and laughed. "Just kidding."

She shook her head and hit him. "You're not as funny as you think," she said, laughing.

He smiled then went back to reading the script. A few minutes later, she told him she'd finished peeling the oranges and offered him some.

He scooted over, grabbed a slide then rested into the couch. "But you know something?" he said, turning his face to hers.

"What?" she asked, looking back at him.

"I wonder if audiences would be willing to accept me in more serious roles after WGM and Hana Yori Dango. Maybe I should just stick to playing young, romantic roles."

"But you said you don't really think they are your style," she reminded him.

He nodded. "Yes, but what if no one likes me in other roles?"

She smiled. "Don't worry, they will." She patted his thigh reassuringly. "I'm here, aren't I?" she said, bending over to grab another orange slice. "I'll always support you."

"You will?" Those words excited him far more than they should have. But it was great to hear something so promising from her. He knew that she wanted to keep seeing him as just a friend but for him, they'd passed that stage a long time ago.

She laughed and nodded, picking up the slice. "I'll be your biggest fan." She looked up at him to say something else when she noticed the intense look he was giving her. The smile froze on her face. She dropped the orange piece and leaned away from him. Why was her heart suddenly pounding?

"You promise?" Hyun Joong said, his voice suddenly turning huskier. She started to look away but he placed his finger on her chin and turned her eyes back to his. "Do you promise?" he asked, his eyelids lowering as he inched closer to her.

Hwangbo's entire being froze. It only took a few seconds for him to cover the distance between them but to her, it felt like an eternity. She knew that she should move away, that she shouldn't let it happen, that he was just a child and they were just friends and she shouldn't be sitting next to him with her brain on the verge of exploding from all the emotions that were rushing through it. Looking at the big picture, she knew they were all wrong for each other – they were at different places in their lives and careers and they just weren't the right match. Besides, she'd always said that her next relationship would lead to marriage and she wasn't ready for it yet. But she couldn't deny the way her heart sometimes fluttered when he looked at her.

"Do you promise?" he repeated.

"Yeah…," she said, just as his lips reached hers. She didn't respond at first but his lips felt so nice and it somehow felt right so she thought that maybe, just maybe it was okay to go with the flow.



***



"Are you okay?" the voice from the other side of the door asked.

Hwangbo looked at her reflection in the bathroom mirror. She hadn't planned on running in there but her reflexes had taken over and the minute the sex was over, she'd retreated to the bathroom.

"You're still there?" she called back.

"Of course I'm still here. Did you expect me to leave?"

Hwangbo unlocked the door and was met with Hyun Joong standing in front of her. She pushed him aside and walked past him. "You should go home."

"Why?"

"That shouldn't have happened."

"Why not?" he asked calmly.

"It was a mistake," she said defiantly.

"No, it wasn't."

"You're just my dongseng."

"No, I'm not just your dongseng and you know it."

"Let's forget about it. We just got caught up in the moment and it should never have happened. I'm sorry. As the older one, I should have known better. Forgive me."

"Quit with the B.S. I'm happy it happened and you want to know why?"

Before Hwangbo could respond, he told her everything. He told her that he wasn't sorry because he finally got the chance to express his feelings… feelings that had been developing since they were on the show together. He explained that he'd tried his best to be aloof on the show, and not to get his feelings involved but he'd failed. That even though there were a lot of people around him in Macau and Australia, he'd been somehow lonely without her and how much he'd enjoyed their conversations. And that he knew that she felt something for him, because it was obvious that she cared about him and that the way he sometimes caught her looking at him… that wasn't how a noona looked at her dongseng. So she should stop lying and stop trying to run away from her feelings. Because what just happened had felt right and he knew that she knew it too.

Hwangbo stood with her back to him and let everything he'd said digest. On one hand, she was inexplicably glad that he had these feelings for her, but on the other hand, she couldn't see how it would work. He was an idol and she couldn't date an idol - especially one so much younger than her.

"Hyun Joong, please leave," was all she could say. She needed to think and there was no way she could have any rational thoughts with him looking at her like that.

Wordlessly, Hyun Joong packed up his bag and left.

She was in shock as he shut the door behind him. She definitely didn't want to keep arguing with him, but his inaction had left her feeling a little hollow. Hadn't he given up too easily?

She rushed over to her window and watched him get into his car and drive off. Then she turned around and slowly slid down till she was sitting on the floor. Had she done the right thing?



***



Hwangbo stared at the phone on her hand.

"Is a genie supposed to appear?" her makeup artist asked as she walked by.

Hwangbo looked up and gave her a look.

The lady stepped back. "Oops. Sorry. I forgot you were still in a mood."

Hwangbo hadn't expected to spend the entire week in a bad mood but every day since that fateful night with Hyun Joong, she'd increasingly become grumpier. She definitely regretted sleeping with him because it had obviously changed the dynamic of their relationship but the must hurtful change was that he was just no longer there and she'd never realized that she'd miss him so much. When someone said something, or something happened or she watched something on television, she often found herself wondering what witty thing Hyun Joong would have said if he'd been around. But sometimes, she just wanted to hear his voice regardless of what he said.

So after much contemplation, she decided to be an adult about it and just ask him how he was doing.

Her phone chirped to announce that she'd received a text message. She quickly slid it open to read it.

Are you only asking as a friend? Do you still regret what happened? If you do, then please don't contact me.



Hwangbo sighed as she bent over and let her head hang in exasperation. Why did he have to be like this?



***

Hwangbo put on her coat as she walked out of the dressing room. She'd just performed at an awards show and hadn't realized that Hyun Joong would also be there handing out an award.

Backstage, just when she was pretending that she hadn't noticed him, that she couldn't see just how hot he looked in that suit, that she wasn't aware of his presence, one of the MCs of the night had brought him over to her and teased them incessantly. So she'd tried her best to act unaffected and laugh as the annoying guy kept reminiscing about his favorite WGM episodes and how he'd secretly rooted for the ssangchu couple.

She was heading for the exit, wondering if Hyun Joong had already left when she heard someone whisper into her ear, "I missed you so much."

She turned around to see Hyun Joong as he retreated. His back looked great in the black coat she'd helped pick out from a catalogue.

Not thinking, she ran over and caught up with him. She looked around to see if anyone was looking at them. When she was satisfied that no one was, through gritted teeth she asked him if he was crazy.

He stopped in his tracks and spun around. "What?" he asked with a raised brow.

Hwangbo averted her eyes and frowned. "What do you mean by 'What?' How can you say what you just said and walk away?"

Hyun Joong fought the urge to smile at her pout. But he had to stand his ground. "What do you expect me to do when you never replied to my text."

She sighed and gave him a sidelong look. "We can still be friends, can't we? Why must it be more? Why can't you be more patient?"

"Why should I be patient? I already told you how I feel."

Hwangbo sighed again. "I sent you a text, doesn't that show I was thinking of you?"

Hyun Joong inched closer. "Yes. But what do you think of me?"

Hwangbo averted her gaze. Why couldn't they just go back to what they were? She'd been successful at being with him while controlling her feelings. What was so wrong with that?

Hyun Joong waited for a response but when it was clear that none was forthcoming, he turned around and walked away.

She reached over to stop him but thought better of it. It was clear that he wanted a relationship but she'd already told herself that she wasn't ready. But as she watched him get closer to the door, she couldn't help but think of how awful the past few weeks had been and how many times she'd itched to talk to him. Or to see his face. And the memories kept coming – the way he'd held her that night, the jokes he'd made to improve her mood, the way his hand felt when it was casually placed around her shoulders. And pushing all other feelings aside, she truly missed that. She touched her lips and remembered what the first kiss felt like and as she remembered how tenderly he'd kissed her and how his tongue had gently urged her lips apart, she placed her hands on her belly to keep the butterflies in check.

Without another thought, she pulled out her phone and found his number. Be at my place at 7, she texted.



***



Hours later, Hwangbo was still at her dinning table with her knees together, her body crouched over with her chin in her palms as she watched the clock. It was now 7:15 and she'd been watching it for what seemed like hours.

The table had been set, the dishes prepared and waiting to be eaten. She hadn't really thought much of the fact that he hadn't responded to her text, confirming his acceptance of the invitation but now that he hadn't shown up, she was worried. The only good thing about him being late was that she'd had extra time to practice her speech. She was going to tell him that because he'd become a part of her life, she wasn't ready to give him up just yet. But that he shouldn't pressure her into a relationship. They were still getting to know each other and needed to take things slow. And there were still so many obstacles to face. And his being ready didn't give him a right to disappear from her life just because she wasn't ready to date him. The simple fact was that he needed to wait for her.

She stared at the clock as time crawled by. She was watching it when it turned to 7:20.

At 7:31 she poured herself a glass of water.

At 8:00 she called him but he didn't answer.

At 9:00, she sent him a text. Then she called him and when the voicemail picked up, she yelled, "You bastard, are you coming or not?" before throwing the phone on the couch.

At 9:30, the food had turned stone cold so she emptied it into the trash. You're a fool, she told herself. She shouldn't have gotten caught up in the fantasy – he was just like any other man who wanted something they couldn't have. He was nothing short of an bubble gum and she wished she'd never ever considered him. She should have stuck to her original plan and only thought of him as a work colleague.

At 10pm she sat on her couch and tried to watch television but she was in shock. He really wasn't coming, was he? She flipped through channels and tried to ignore the emptiness. Now that there was no possibility of dating him, why did she feel so incomplete – like something important was missing?

At 11:51 the doorbell suddenly rang. Hwangbo jerked off the couch in shock. What? Where? How? Why? She ran over to the intercom and saw Hyun Joong's face. Her blood boiled. She took another look at the wall clock to confirm the time. She really wasn't dreaming – that john tesher really had shown up at her house at 11 freaking 51.

"What do you want?" she yelled into the intercom.

"Huh? Didn't you invite me?"

"I'm sure my invitation didn't state for you to show up at midnight."

He looked into the camera. "I've been in the studio all day and I just got your text. I rushed here as soon as I got it." He looked away hoping his eyes didn't betray the truth. The truth was he'd been putting off reading the text because he expected to read bad news. He expected to read an apology – an explanation for why she wanted to keep their friendship platonic. But when he'd finally had the guts to read it, he'd jumped into a cab and come to her place.

"You just got my text?" Hwangbo repeated. "Why are you lying? YOU CHECK YOUR PHONE EVERY FIVE MINUTES SO HOW DID YOU JUST GET MY TEXT?"

Hyun Joong ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. "Everyone can hear you. Just let me in."

Hwangbo folded her arms in defiance and turned away from the intercom. "I'm not opening the door so you can just go home."

"I can't come in?"

"No. The show's over. Just go home." Who did he think he was? How could he even think it was okay to show up five hours late?

She waited for a reply but nothing came. She looked at the video intercom and no longer saw him. She placed her hands on her chest. "Did he really leave?" she asked herself in a choked voice. She ran over to the window and couldn't find his car parked. She turned around and walked slowly to her couch. He was really gone?

After waiting hopefully and stupidly for ten minutes, she decided to accept the reality of his departure. She sighed. Had she make a mistake?

She looked over at the brimming trash can. "I might as well empty that," she said to herself. She didn't need a reminder of her botched evening. What was wrong with her and why had she let him leave? Maybe he had an explanation for coming late. Shouldn't she have listened? She asked herself as she tied the trash bag and lifted it from the can.



***

She'd just thrown the trash bag into the huge bin and was walking back to her building when a lone figure appeared out of nowhere.

She reflexively got into karate mode, ready to defend herself from her attacker when the person walked into the light. She changed her stance when she saw how sad and dejected he looked. The butterflies in her tummy did a double flip. He hadn't left! But should couldn't help but notice that he looked so tired, and unsure but before she could say anything, he reached across and pulled her into his arms.

Her body hadn't felt so good in days, with her nose against his chest, drinking in his scent, she couldn't help but melt into him. Her resolve was broken -she couldn't deny just how wonderful it felt to have him close to her after the awful evening she'd had. They stood in silence for a few minutes and even though a strong cold breeze passed them, they were warmed by the acknowledgement of requited feelings.

Hwangbo was the first one to speak. "You should have come earlier. Your dinner is now in the trash."

"It doesn't matter," he said. "I only came for you."

Hwangbo laughed and separated from him. And even though their bodies were no longer together, Hyun Joong kept his hand on her arm.

"You only came for me? I thought you said you hated corny and cheesy things," she said,beaming.

He shrugged. "You bring out the worst in me."

"What?" she yelled, hitting him furiously.

He laughed as he ducked her blows. Then they started walking back to the building.

"You know something? I don't think I'm ready for a relationship. But I don't want to lose you," she said matter-of-factly.

"That's okay." He glanced at her and noticed the earnest expression on her face. He wanted to be exclusive with her but if she needed time, he'd give it to her. "But let's not hide our feelings. Don't hide your feelings from me."

"I won't." After a few moments, she said, "There's no food but I am sure you can find something to drink."

They walked silently for a few moments before Hyun Joong reached over and grabbed her hand.

A bit shocked, Hwangbo tried to untangle her fingers from his but he wouldn't let go.

"You're going to have to get used to this," he said, holding her firmly.

Hwangbo looked over at him and laughed. She'd already given in tonight so it wouldn't hurt to give in a little more, would it? Besides his hand felt nice and warm. It was clear that they were on to something, that this was the beginning of a new phase in her life and even though she didn't want to show her, it made her feel a little giddy.

"I guess I have no choice but to get used to it, then," she said, shocking him with a little peck on the cheek.

Chapter Two

Hyun Joong carefully got off the bed. It had been three years since they'd been together and things had changed quite a bit.

Boys Before Flowers had been a huge success and turned him into a Hallyu star. As a result, he regretted that lately, he'd been in SS501 in name only, but that wasn't his only regret.

He turned to watch Hwangbo as she slept peacefully.

Their relationship… he sighed as he watched her chest lift up and down in a pattern that had become very familiar to him. In the three years they'd been together, she'd never actually come out and said that they were indeed together.

He loved her but with her, it had been one drama after the other. At first, she didn't want to be with him because of the age difference. When she got over that, her next excuse was that he was a member of an idol band and she didn't want to come in the way of him and his fans. When his acting career took off, she said that he was too famous and she didn't want to hurt his career.

But when she felt lonely, she called him. When she felt happy, she called him. When she was sad, she called him. In her apartment, their cars, in secret, they were together and were, in every respect, a couple.


He'd introduced her to all of his family and she and his mother had become friends but so far, he'd only met her mom once and that had been by chance.

In bed, she was passionate, and even though she always appeared to have this lively personality, underneath it all, when it came to the emotional part of their relationship, she was cool.

He remembered showing her the script for the bed scene in his last drama, and it was quite risqué and the director was known for being rather explicit in his direction.

He knew that he was being childish, but he'd hoped to make her mad or at least to see a sign of jealousy, not the fake jealously she displayed when she'd pretended to be married on television but real jealousy or displeasure at the fact that he'd be passionately kissing another woman. But she'd been very 'mature' and dismissed it saying that it was work so he had to do what he had to do.

It had annoyed him and prompted him to argue once again that it was time they came clean about their relationship if not to the world but at least to each other but as usual, she brought up his career and age and how they should just keep things simple with no complications. She claimed that his career was at a critical stage and there was no need for her to bring in any added tension to his life but why couldn't she see that this uncertainty about them was the biggest tension in his life?

When he explained to her that she was more important to him than his career could ever be, and that it he'd be willing to give it up if that was what she needed to come to a proper decision about them, she didn't talk to him for a week.

He didn't understand what she was so scared of and in his heart, there was no question that she loved him after all, this weekend, just like every weekend before he had to film a drama, they made sure they spent as much time as they could together because once filming began, he was usually far too occupied with the different facets of his work be it learning his lines, promotion, building a relationship with his cast members or whatever else to fully devote much time to her especially as she refused to even visit him on the set.

He walked into the kitchen to brew some coffee. As the coffee slowly dripped into the pot, he angrily hit the kitchen counter. He was just frustrated with having to be so secretive about their relationship, about having to be the one to always put his heart on the line to verbally reassure her that he wanted to be with her.

But when it got tiring and he thought of giving her an ultimatum or threatening to end things, a little voice inside of him warned that she just might take him up on his offer and he was way too chicken to risk losing her forever.

Hyun Joong was about to pour himself a cup of coffee when his phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Where are you now?" his manager asked from the other end of the line.

"At Hwangbo's. Why?" he asked as he walked over to her fridge to get some milk.

"OH SH.IT!" his manager exclaimed. "Get on your computer right now and go to Yahoo."

Five minutes later, Hyun Joong's mouth was ajar as he stared at the single headline:

"SINGER HWANGBO AND SINGER/ACTOR KIM HYUN JOONG IN SECRET AFFAIR?"

Right under the headline was a photo that was obviously taken in front of her apartment building. From their clothes, he could tell that it had been taken almost a year earlier, shortly after he'd lost out on the Popularity award at the MBC awards ceremony for the second drama he'd done after Boys Before Flowers.

He hadn't been that depressed about the loss but seeing how upset Hwangbo had been for him, he'd pretended to because he knew that she'd take really good care of him and he treasured every moment she dotted over him.

Objectively, the picture really wasn't that damaging. They weren't making out or anything of that nature but judging from the intimate way she held onto his arm, it wouldn't be a huge leap for anyone to guess that they were together.

The first thing that popped into his mind was what Hwangbo's reaction would be and he instantly knew that he had to find a way to bury this story. He picked up his phone and called his manager. "Is there anything we can do?"

"Like what? Do you know what time it is? It has already spread. I just got reports that there are some reporters waiting outside of both of your apartment buildings."

Hyun Joong hissed. "But surely—"

"Oh, the coffee smells soooooooooooo good," Hwangbo said as she walked out of her bedroom.

Panicked, Hyun Joong quickly closed his laptop and hung up the phone. What exactly was he going to tell her?

A few minutes later, she walked out, smiling at him, looking tiny in one of his old t-shirts.


Still oblivious to the situation, she giggled then skipped over to him and sat on his lap. She took a sip of his coffee. "Hmm... this tastes so good."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yes. This was a present from your fanclub, right? Where did you say the coffee was from?"

Hyun Joong looked at her but didn't say anything. His brain couldn't focus enough to think of the answer to her question.


He tried to smile but his mind was racing out of control.


He already knew that if he said anything about the reporters, she'd go ballistic.

It wasn't her going ballistic that really bothered him, but that maybe, just maybe this was the excuse she'd been waiting for.

An excuse to end it all. The reason she'd never fully committed to them.


***

Hwangbo was still rambling when she noticed that he wasn't really paying attention to her. She stopped talking and studied his face.

Why was he acting strangely?

They only had one more day together before he'd be focused on his drama and that was usually when he got whiny and wanted to have deep conversations about their relationship and where they were headed and how he wanted her to come and see him on the set. And how they didn't have to be so discreet that they only stayed in contact electronically.

She frowned at him. "You know I'm sitting on your lap, right?" she reminded him.

"Yeah?" he replied, his voice sounding faraway.

"You haven't kissed me yet."

She expected him to say something about her going to brush her teeth first or some random comment but instead, he just smiled and kissed her cheek.

She felt her chest tightening as nerves began to take over. Okay, something was definitely not right.

"Are you okay?" she asked, slowly getting off his lap.

"Yes," he said, giving her that fake smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.

She could feel her heartbeat quicken as she grew more worried.

***

His eyes followed her as she walked into the kitchen, wondering how he should break the news to her.

His phone rang. He looked at his caller ID and saw his manager's name.

"I'm parked near Hwangbo's building."

"Okay..." Hyun Joong looked up to see Hwangbo staring at him suspiciously.

"There are reporters here. They aren't even bothering to hide."

"I see." He watched her walk out of the kitchen and towards the living room.

"Have you turned the T.V. on yet?"

"No," he replied, pasting a fake smile on his face hoping to throw Hwangbo off.

"Well, it's already made the entertainment news shows. They started showing clips of WGM and wondering if your affair started there."

Hyun Joong cringed at the word 'affair' because it made it sound like they were involved in something clandestine when in reality, they were just two people who liked to spend time together. "I see," was all he could say. He was about to say something else when she saw Hwangbo reach out for the T.V remote control.

In a matter of seconds, he ran across the room and grabbed it from her.

She looked at him in shock. "What's wrong with you?"

He shook his head. "Let's not watch TV."

"Why not?"

As it usually happened at times like this, his brain froze and he couldn't conjure any reasonable excuse. So instead, he bent over and kissed her full on the lips.

***

About two hours later, showered and dressed, Hwangbo emerged from the bedroom and grabbed her keys. "Hey, I'm going to quickly run to the store to get some things... is there anything special you want for lunch or dinner? I could grab some stuff."

Hyun Joong looked at her nervously. He still hadn't told her what was going on and it wasn't like he could use sex every time she was close to finding out about their scandal. He'd already come up with a bogus excuse to keep her from drawing the blinds and looking outside her window. And there was no way she was going to walk out of the apartment without getting bombarded by the press.

"Why do you need to go to the store?"

She lifted her eyebrow, "I have stuff to get. Remember I was going to go shopping yesterday but you whined that you didn't want me to leave? Well, I really need to go - we are on the last roll of toilet paper."

He took a deep breath in. The time had come. He opened up his laptop and showed her the article.

Twenty minutes later, Hyun Joong and Hwangbo turned off the television after watching the fifth news clip about their relationship.

"I'm so sorry...." Hyun Joong started to say. It was the first thing he'd said since showing her the article. Her reaction was exactly as he'd expected. She yelled in shock then pushed him off the chair and surfed different websites to see if the news had spread and surely, it had. Then she'd turned on the television to see if there were any reports.

Hwangbo turned to him and smiled in fake cheer. "Sorry about what? It's not a big deal. These things happen."

"What do you mean?"

She quickly stood up and grabbed her car keys. "I'm going to the store."

"What??"

She shrugged like she didn't know why he was surprised. "I have things to buy, you know?"

"But there are reporters out there."

"And so what? I live here. Am I not allowed to leave my apartment on a Sunday afternoon?"

"But they are going to ask you about us." Why was she acting like she didn't get it?

"So what? There's nothing to tell."

Hyun Joong's body sank into the couch. But it didn't sink nearly as far as his heart. "There's nothing to tell? Hwang Bo Hye Jung, there's nothing to tell?" he said under his breath.



***

Hwangbo turned away so that she couldn't see all the pain written on his face. She knew what it was like to have a large number of antis and really didn't want him to experience the same thing. No matter what he said, no matter how idealistic he was, she knew that his fans would turn against him. She was too old, not pretty enough, not successful enough, or whatever reason they could come up with to express their dissatisfaction and many had been disappointed and abandoned him three years ago when they were just pretending to be a couple so if it became real, that they finally saw that they were together, she just knew that it would be devastating to his career. And she knew how hard he worked and how much it meant to him.

She was about to turn to him when her phone rang so she answered it. "Hwangbo, are you okay?" Jun Jin's voice asked from the other end.

"Yes."

"So it's over now. You can finally be free. You can finally tell the world how you feel about him. You no longer have to hide."

She sighed. That was the last thing she needed to hear. "I'll call you back," she said before hanging up the phone. The only freedom that came with the scandal was the freedom from their relationship. A scandal meant that the end had finally arrived because she knew that there was no relationship for them outside of the little world they created behind closed doors.

She needed some time to clear her head. She never should have agreed to appear on We Got Married. She should have just ended it on Halla mountain like they'd planned. She needed some time away from him. She needed to quickly come to terms with the end. She had to fight the tears that were threatening to brim over. She needed some time alone. Without turning around, she told him that she'd be back in a few minutes.

"Don't even think of taking another step," he said in the coldest voice she'd ever heard.

She turned around and saw the anger flash in his eye. "What did you just say to me?"

"I'm not letting you go out there and lie."

She swallowed hard and looked at him square in the eye, blinking rapidly to prevent tears from falling. "I'm not going to lie." How could she tell him that she wasn't even planning to leave the building and that she just needed to be away from him?

"'What are you going to tell the reporters when they ask you about me?"

She sighed and tried to maintain her composure. "What is there to say?"

Hwangbo waited for a retort but nothing came.

She waited for him to declare that he loved her and that the scandal didn't mean that it was over and that it just meant that it was time for them to publicly come clean. She expected him to passionately argue that they could make it together in the world and that they should spend some time coming up with the right statement to make to the public to somehow persuade them to accept their relationship.

She paced around, walked into her kitchen and got a glass of water, and she sipped the cold liquid, came up her list of responses and reasons why it was best they just parted ways because it was the best thing for both of them even though she'd never forget the three years they'd spent together and that it was time for them to make the right but difficult decision.

But he just sat quietly and stared into space.

From the way the vein in his head threatened to pop, she could tell that he was hurting. Really hurting. And it was breaking her heart. How could she console him when she knew that their relationship was on its last legs and that it wasn't long before they became strangers? But on the other hand, how could she just leave him alone? "You know what?" she said, dropping her keys on the table, "I think there might be something I can cook."

Hyun Joong didn't say anything. He just watched as she fretted around, suddenly talking about everything without really saying anything.

***


Hours passed by without the reporters or the incident being mentioned between them. There were numerous calls from friends and reporters, and they reassured all their friends that they are okay while giving the reporters the standard "no comment" response. Hyun Joong's manager called and said that they'd scanned the building and there was pretty much no way to get out unnoticed. The reporters were surrounding both their apartment buildings and it looked like they were going to camp out till either of them came out. They'd even contacted the police but the reporters weren't breaking any trespassing laws so they were of no help.


It was clear that there was no way out.

They ate dinner in silence.

As Hwangbo cleared their dishes, Hyun Joong tried to bring the topic up but at this point, Hwangbo had already made peace with the inevitable. She'd already come to terms with the fact that it was their last day together. And talking about it would only lead to tears and she didn't want his last memory of her to be one with tears.

So she didn't want to talk about it. In fact, she wanted to talk about anything but it. She didn't want to have to face reality till she absolutely had to. So if it meant pretending that there was nothing wrong, that they wouldn't have to break up, then so be it.

After dinner, she showered and walked over to her bedroom and waited for him.

It was scary how her heart had begun to ache. Not the dull ache one expected at times like this but a sharp constant ache that she couldn't ignore.

Why couldn't he just be his usual self on their last day together so that she could savor it for as long as possible? He was being far too quiet even for him. An hour went by and he didn't come to her. She lay in bed and thought about all the times they'd spent together. And even though they had to be discreet, they couldn't go out together, they couldn't go on vacations, to public places, were restricted to only certain events, even though she'd had to sacrifice a lot just so that she could be with him, she'd been happy.

It was true – she'd been happy.

A lot happier than she'd been willing to admit. She'd always known that their last day would come, so she'd tried her best not to get attached but slowly but surely, she'd fallen in love with him. Not in that passionate way people fell in love in high school but in the unnoticeable way one didn't realize till they were in over their heads.

And now that they only had a few hours together, now that she had to make their best memories together, he was sitting all by himself in the living room. This could not be it.

Determined to have it end on a beautiful note, she got off the bed and went to him.

"Aren't you coming to bed?" she asked. "You have to be on set at 7am, don't you?"

"I do."

"So aren't you coming to sleep?"

"No."

Hwangbo sighed. Why did he have to be like that? She stood there watching him silently with her heart in her throat as the word 'no' hung in the air.

Just as she turned to leave, he said, "You know I love you, right?"

***

"Yes."

So why can't you fight for us? Hyun Joong wanted to yell. Why was he so easy to discard? Did she really not think that he was worth the fight?

Am I not good enough for you? He silently asked as he heard her retreating back to the bedroom. He sighed as he bent his head over in defeat. So it was really over. Right then, he knew that the words, "There's nothing to tell" would haunt him for the rest of his life.

***

The next morning, Hwangbo woke up to the sound of her phone ringing.

"Where are you?" Jun Jin asked.

She yawned and looked at her alarm clock. "Where do you think I am? It's like 6:15am."

"I'm watching a live feed on the internet. He's not saying anything but the reporters won't let him leave."

"What are you talking about?" she asked groggily.

"Kim Hyun Joong! Who else would I be talking about?"

"Huh?" Hwangbo asked, suddenly alert.

"Look outside your window!"

A few seconds later, Hwangbo was watching Hyun Joong standing out in the cold helplessly with what looked like tens of reporters shining their lights and cameras on him.

The first thing she felt was panic - this nightmarish scene she'd imagined for years had finally come to be.

But on the other hand, it wasn't as bad as she'd thought. It wasn't like a scene from a zombie movie with dismembered body parts strewn across the street. It was just a man standing in the midst of scoop-hungry reporters.

And Hyun Joong… her dear, dear Hyun Joong was not cowering away from them. Instead, from what she could see, he had his usual blank expression like he really didn't give a d**n about them.

For real? He was being sincere when he said he really didn't care about all this? Really?

Her heart jumped. For real?


"What are you going to do?" she heard Jun Jin ask. "You love him, don't you?"

Of course she loved him. That question had become redundant for a while now. It was because she loved him that she'd tried to hang on for as long as possible, sneaking and hiding, even if it meant that she'd only be able to spend a few minutes with him. A few minutes that would become so precious she'd hold them close to her heart for the days they were apart. But as she watched him standing a few hundred feet away, the beginning of what would become their final separation – he suddenly felt so far, so far that she could no longer sense him as that constant factor in her life she'd become so comfortable with. And she felt so empty. Emptier than she'd ever felt before she'd ever met him. He'd carved a hole in her heart and she already knew that nothing else could fill it. Could she really bear this emptiness for the rest of her life?


Without responding to Jun Jin, she hung up, grabbed her robe, picked up her house keys and opened the door.

Yes, she was being stupid – that was beyond obvious.

Yes, she was possibly throwing her career into the toilet.

She knew she was making herself the number one topic in many of Korea's search engines.

But so what?

All the pain from that seem to pale in comparison with the pain she already begun to feel.

Besides, the deed had already been done. Leaving him didn't mean they wouldn't face the netizen's wrath, or that they'd no longer be fodder for gossip or that she wouldn't get questioned about this everywhere she went. Or that she wouldn't be called a cougar, or that his fans wouldn't hate her.

Why go through all that and lose him too? Why suffer all that for nothing? It made no sense. She didn't care if she was just psyching in order to convince herself she was making the right decision. The truth was that no matter how much she'd tried to prepare herself, she couldn't not be with him.

She ran into the hallway and past the elevators. Somehow, the adrenaline had taken complete control of her and she didn't even have the patience to stop and wait for the elevator to arrive at her floor. She skipped down the stairs and before she knew it, was running out of her building. Before she could catch her breath, the reporters noticed her and ran towards her.

As the lights moved closer, she smoothed her hair with her palm even though she realized it wouldn't do much – she probably looked like mini cooper. And her breath was most likely worse. But it didn't matter anyway – all she could see was Hyun Joong standing a few feet away, turning around to look at her. And somehow, that gave her more strength to face it after all, they were in it together.

"Hwangbo-ssi, what's your relationship with Kim Hyun Joong?" a voice she recognized asked. She turned to look at the familiar face and when their eyes met, she smiled. A few days earlier, she'd shared a bottle of soju with him at a friend's farewell party but at the crack of dawn on a Monday morning, he'd turned from friend to foe. But such was life in the entertainment world. She took a deep breath in and glanced at Hyun Joong again.

He was looking intently at her and from the way his nostrils flared, she could tell that he was nervous about what she was going to say. But when she looked back at him, silently telling him that everything would be okay, she saw the relief encompass his face. He nodded at her and she felt his support again.

She turned back to the reporter and took a deep breath in. "What kind of relationship do you think we have? You caught him leaving my apartment at 6'oclock in the morning, didn't you?"

Even though she didn't look at Hyun Joong, she already knew that he was giving her a disapproving looking but did she really have to play nice today of all days? It was okay to be sarcaastic once in a while.


"Are you admitting to a relationship with Kim Hyun Joong ssi?" another reporter asked, shoving his recorder at her mouth.

She looked over at Hyun Joong and watched him walk towards her and without taking her eyes of him, she said, "Yes, I'm admitting to it." Hell yeah, she was admitting it. Looking at his face with the soft glow of the rising sun shinning on it, had she ever seen a man so handsome?

"What kind of relationship?"

She averted her gaze back to the reporter and took another deep breath in. If she'd already come this far, she might as well go all the way. "I love him."

Just as the words escaped her mouth, she saw some people she recognized clawing through the crowd and in a matter of seconds, they pulled her away.

It certainly took the DSP bodyguards long enough to show up.

They shoved her into a car and a few seconds later, they were driving off.

She sat there, her heart beating furiously as she replayed everything she'd just done, with the implications slowly sinking in when she felt a hand cover hers. She looked up to see Hyun Joong's smiling face.

"I'm happy," he said.

She frowned. "What's there to be happy about? We're in the middle of a scandal."

He shrugged. "And?"

She sighed and rested her back on the car seat. "My career is over." She paused. "Your career is over."

He shook his head vehemently. "No, it's not. I'm going to make sure it isn't."

She smiled and looked out of the window, noticing how pretty the streets looked as the darkness slowly lifted and the city stirred out of silence. She thought of the millions of people waking up, preparing to begin yet another day of their lives. As they took their showers and prepared their breakfasts, she wondered what they were all thinking. And if they thought about the various little obstacles and challenges they'd have to overcome just to make it through the day.


She turned to Hyun Joong and smiled. Regardless of how determined they were, as entertainers, their careers depended largely on their audience – and if the audience turned their backs on them, no amount of determination could change it. That was their challenge.

She tightened her grip on Hyun Joong's hand.


"Are you okay?" he asked, looking at her worriedly. "We're going to get through this - I promise."


She smiled and nodded. "I know." It had finally become clear to her that they were in it together. And regardless of the challenges they faced, they'd get through them together and somehow, that was all that seemed to matter.





THE END



[color=Blue]Disclaimer: This is a complete work of fiction and I do not know Hwangbo or Hyun Joong personally nor do I claim any characteristics portrayed here are possessed by any of the real life persons.





A/N: Please forgive any grammatical errors. [/color]Hyun Joong carefully got off the bed. It had been three years since they'd been together and things had changed quite a bit.

Boys Before Flowers had been a huge success and turned him into a Hallyu star. As a result, he regretted that lately, he'd been in SS501 in name only, but that wasn't his only regret.

He turned to watch Hwangbo as she slept peacefully.

Their relationship… he sighed as he watched her chest lift up and down in a pattern that had become very familiar to him. In the three years they'd been together, she'd never actually come out and said that they were indeed together.

He loved her but with her, it had been one drama after the other. At first, she didn't want to be with him because of the age difference. When she got over that, her next excuse was that he was a member of an idol band and she didn't want to come in the way of him and his fans. When his acting career took off, she said that he was too famous and she didn't want to hurt his career.

But when she felt lonely, she called him. When she felt happy, she called him. When she was sad, she called him. In her apartment, their cars, in secret, they were together and were, in every respect, a couple.


He'd introduced her to all of his family and she and his mother had become friends but so far, he'd only met her mom once and that had been by chance.

In bed, she was passionate, and even though she always appeared to have this lively personality, underneath it all, when it came to the emotional part of their relationship, she was cool.

He remembered showing her the script for the bed scene in his last drama, and it was quite risqué and the director was known for being rather explicit in his direction.

He knew that he was being childish, but he'd hoped to make her mad or at least to see a sign of jealousy, not the fake jealously she displayed when she'd pretended to be married on television but real jealousy or displeasure at the fact that he'd be passionately kissing another woman. But she'd been very 'mature' and dismissed it saying that it was work so he had to do what he had to do.

It had annoyed him and prompted him to argue once again that it was time they came clean about their relationship if not to the world but at least to each other but as usual, she brought up his career and age and how they should just keep things simple with no complications. She claimed that his career was at a critical stage and there was no need for her to bring in any added tension to his life but why couldn't she see that this uncertainty about them was the biggest tension in his life?

When he explained to her that she was more important to him than his career could ever be, and that it he'd be willing to give it up if that was what she needed to come to a proper decision about them, she didn't talk to him for a week.

He didn't understand what she was so scared of and in his heart, there was no question that she loved him after all, this weekend, just like every weekend before he had to film a drama, they made sure they spent as much time as they could together because once filming began, he was usually far too occupied with the different facets of his work be it learning his lines, promotion, building a relationship with his cast members or whatever else to fully devote much time to her especially as she refused to even visit him on the set.

He walked into the kitchen to brew some coffee. As the coffee slowly dripped into the pot, he angrily hit the kitchen counter. He was just frustrated with having to be so secretive about their relationship, about having to be the one to always put his heart on the line to verbally reassure her that he wanted to be with her.

But when it got tiring and he thought of giving her an ultimatum or threatening to end things, a little voice inside of him warned that she just might take him up on his offer and he was way too chicken to risk losing her forever.

Hyun Joong was about to pour himself a cup of coffee when his phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Where are you now?" his manager asked from the other end of the line.

"At Hwangbo's. Why?" he asked as he walked over to her fridge to get some milk.

"OH SH.IT!" his manager exclaimed. "Get on your computer right now and go to Yahoo."

Five minutes later, Hyun Joong's mouth was ajar as he stared at the single headline:

"SINGER HWANGBO AND SINGER/ACTOR KIM HYUN JOONG IN SECRET AFFAIR?"

Right under the headline was a photo that was obviously taken in front of her apartment building. From their clothes, he could tell that it had been taken almost a year earlier, shortly after he'd lost out on the Popularity award at the MBC awards ceremony for the second drama he'd done after Boys Before Flowers.

He hadn't been that depressed about the loss but seeing how upset Hwangbo had been for him, he'd pretended to because he knew that she'd take really good care of him and he treasured every moment she dotted over him.

Objectively, the picture really wasn't that damaging. They weren't making out or anything of that nature but judging from the intimate way she held onto his arm, it wouldn't be a huge leap for anyone to guess that they were together.

The first thing that popped into his mind was what Hwangbo's reaction would be and he instantly knew that he had to find a way to bury this story. He picked up his phone and called his manager. "Is there anything we can do?"

"Like what? Do you know what time it is? It has already spread. I just got reports that there are some reporters waiting outside of both of your apartment buildings."

Hyun Joong hissed. "But surely—"

"Oh, the coffee smells soooooooooooo good," Hwangbo said as she walked out of her bedroom.

Panicked, Hyun Joong quickly closed his laptop and hung up the phone. What exactly was he going to tell her?

A few minutes later, she walked out, smiling at him, looking tiny in one of his old t-shirts.


Still oblivious to the situation, she giggled then skipped over to him and sat on his lap. She took a sip of his coffee. "Hmm... this tastes so good."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yes. This was a present from your fanclub, right? Where did you say the coffee was from?"

Hyun Joong looked at her but didn't say anything. His brain couldn't focus enough to think of the answer to her question.


He tried to smile but his mind was racing out of control.


He already knew that if he said anything about the reporters, she'd go ballistic.

It wasn't her going ballistic that really bothered him, but that maybe, just maybe this was the excuse she'd been waiting for.

An excuse to end it all. The reason she'd never fully committed to them.


***

Hwangbo was still rambling when she noticed that he wasn't really paying attention to her. She stopped talking and studied his face.

Why was he acting strangely?

They only had one more day together before he'd be focused on his drama and that was usually when he got whiny and wanted to have deep conversations about their relationship and where they were headed and how he wanted her to come and see him on the set. And how they didn't have to be so discreet that they only stayed in contact electronically.

She frowned at him. "You know I'm sitting on your lap, right?" she reminded him.

"Yeah?" he replied, his voice sounding faraway.

"You haven't kissed me yet."

She expected him to say something about her going to brush her teeth first or some random comment but instead, he just smiled and kissed her cheek.

She felt her chest tightening as nerves began to take over. Okay, something was definitely not right.

"Are you okay?" she asked, slowly getting off his lap.

"Yes," he said, giving her that fake smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.

She could feel her heartbeat quicken as she grew more worried.

***

His eyes followed her as she walked into the kitchen, wondering how he should break the news to her.

His phone rang. He looked at his caller ID and saw his manager's name.

"I'm parked near Hwangbo's building."

"Okay..." Hyun Joong looked up to see Hwangbo staring at him suspiciously.

"There are reporters here. They aren't even bothering to hide."

"I see." He watched her walk out of the kitchen and towards the living room.

"Have you turned the T.V. on yet?"

"No," he replied, pasting a fake smile on his face hoping to throw Hwangbo off.

"Well, it's already made the entertainment news shows. They started showing clips of WGM and wondering if your affair started there."

Hyun Joong cringed at the word 'affair' because it made it sound like they were involved in something clandestine when in reality, they were just two people who liked to spend time together. "I see," was all he could say. He was about to say something else when she saw Hwangbo reach out for the T.V remote control.

In a matter of seconds, he ran across the room and grabbed it from her.

She looked at him in shock. "What's wrong with you?"

He shook his head. "Let's not watch TV."

"Why not?"

As it usually happened at times like this, his brain froze and he couldn't conjure any reasonable excuse. So instead, he bent over and kissed her full on the lips.

***

About two hours later, showered and dressed, Hwangbo emerged from the bedroom and grabbed her keys. "Hey, I'm going to quickly run to the store to get some things... is there anything special you want for lunch or dinner? I could grab some stuff."

Hyun Joong looked at her nervously. He still hadn't told her what was going on and it wasn't like he could use sex every time she was close to finding out about their scandal. He'd already come up with a bogus excuse to keep her from drawing the blinds and looking outside her window. And there was no way she was going to walk out of the apartment without getting bombarded by the press.

"Why do you need to go to the store?"

She lifted her eyebrow, "I have stuff to get. Remember I was going to go shopping yesterday but you whined that you didn't want me to leave? Well, I really need to go - we are on the last roll of toilet paper."

He took a deep breath in. The time had come. He opened up his laptop and showed her the article.

Twenty minutes later, Hyun Joong and Hwangbo turned off the television after watching the fifth news clip about their relationship.

"I'm so sorry...." Hyun Joong started to say. It was the first thing he'd said since showing her the article. Her reaction was exactly as he'd expected. She yelled in shock then pushed him off the chair and surfed different websites to see if the news had spread and surely, it had. Then she'd turned on the television to see if there were any reports.

Hwangbo turned to him and smiled in fake cheer. "Sorry about what? It's not a big deal. These things happen."

"What do you mean?"

She quickly stood up and grabbed her car keys. "I'm going to the store."

"What??"

She shrugged like she didn't know why he was surprised. "I have things to buy, you know?"

"But there are reporters out there."

"And so what? I live here. Am I not allowed to leave my apartment on a Sunday afternoon?"

"But they are going to ask you about us." Why was she acting like she didn't get it?

"So what? There's nothing to tell."

Hyun Joong's body sank into the couch. But it didn't sink nearly as far as his heart. "There's nothing to tell? Hwang Bo Hye Jung, there's nothing to tell?" he said under his breath.



***

Hwangbo turned away so that she couldn't see all the pain written on his face. She knew what it was like to have a large number of antis and really didn't want him to experience the same thing. No matter what he said, no matter how idealistic he was, she knew that his fans would turn against him. She was too old, not pretty enough, not successful enough, or whatever reason they could come up with to express their dissatisfaction and many had been disappointed and abandoned him three years ago when they were just pretending to be a couple so if it became real, that they finally saw that they were together, she just knew that it would be devastating to his career. And she knew how hard he worked and how much it meant to him.

She was about to turn to him when her phone rang so she answered it. "Hwangbo, are you okay?" Jun Jin's voice asked from the other end.

"Yes."

"So it's over now. You can finally be free. You can finally tell the world how you feel about him. You no longer have to hide."

She sighed. That was the last thing she needed to hear. "I'll call you back," she said before hanging up the phone. The only freedom that came with the scandal was the freedom from their relationship. A scandal meant that the end had finally arrived because she knew that there was no relationship for them outside of the little world they created behind closed doors.

She needed some time to clear her head. She never should have agreed to appear on We Got Married. She should have just ended it on Halla mountain like they'd planned. She needed some time away from him. She needed to quickly come to terms with the end. She had to fight the tears that were threatening to brim over. She needed some time alone. Without turning around, she told him that she'd be back in a few minutes.

"Don't even think of taking another step," he said in the coldest voice she'd ever heard.

She turned around and saw the anger flash in his eye. "What did you just say to me?"

"I'm not letting you go out there and lie."

She swallowed hard and looked at him square in the eye, blinking rapidly to prevent tears from falling. "I'm not going to lie." How could she tell him that she wasn't even planning to leave the building and that she just needed to be away from him?

"'What are you going to tell the reporters when they ask you about me?"

She sighed and tried to maintain her composure. "What is there to say?"

Hwangbo waited for a retort but nothing came.

She waited for him to declare that he loved her and that the scandal didn't mean that it was over and that it just meant that it was time for them to publicly come clean. She expected him to passionately argue that they could make it together in the world and that they should spend some time coming up with the right statement to make to the public to somehow persuade them to accept their relationship.

She paced around, walked into her kitchen and got a glass of water, and she sipped the cold liquid, came up her list of responses and reasons why it was best they just parted ways because it was the best thing for both of them even though she'd never forget the three years they'd spent together and that it was time for them to make the right but difficult decision.

But he just sat quietly and stared into space.

From the way the vein in his head threatened to pop, she could tell that he was hurting. Really hurting. And it was breaking her heart. How could she console him when she knew that their relationship was on its last legs and that it wasn't long before they became strangers? But on the other hand, how could she just leave him alone? "You know what?" she said, dropping her keys on the table, "I think there might be something I can cook."

Hyun Joong didn't say anything. He just watched as she fretted around, suddenly talking about everything without really saying anything.

***


Hours passed by without the reporters or the incident being mentioned between them. There were numerous calls from friends and reporters, and they reassured all their friends that they are okay while giving the reporters the standard "no comment" response. Hyun Joong's manager called and said that they'd scanned the building and there was pretty much no way to get out unnoticed. The reporters were surrounding both their apartment buildings and it looked like they were going to camp out till either of them came out. They'd even contacted the police but the reporters weren't breaking any trespassing laws so they were of no help.


It was clear that there was no way out.

They ate dinner in silence.

As Hwangbo cleared their dishes, Hyun Joong tried to bring the topic up but at this point, Hwangbo had already made peace with the inevitable. She'd already come to terms with the fact that it was their last day together. And talking about it would only lead to tears and she didn't want his last memory of her to be one with tears.

So she didn't want to talk about it. In fact, she wanted to talk about anything but it. She didn't want to have to face reality till she absolutely had to. So if it meant pretending that there was nothing wrong, that they wouldn't have to break up, then so be it.

After dinner, she showered and walked over to her bedroom and waited for him.

It was scary how her heart had begun to ache. Not the dull ache one expected at times like this but a sharp constant ache that she couldn't ignore.

Why couldn't he just be his usual self on their last day together so that she could savor it for as long as possible? He was being far too quiet even for him. An hour went by and he didn't come to her. She lay in bed and thought about all the times they'd spent together. And even though they had to be discreet, they couldn't go out together, they couldn't go on vacations, to public places, were restricted to only certain events, even though she'd had to sacrifice a lot just so that she could be with him, she'd been happy.

It was true – she'd been happy.

A lot happier than she'd been willing to admit. She'd always known that their last day would come, so she'd tried her best not to get attached but slowly but surely, she'd fallen in love with him. Not in that passionate way people fell in love in high school but in the unnoticeable way one didn't realize till they were in over their heads.

And now that they only had a few hours together, now that she had to make their best memories together, he was sitting all by himself in the living room. This could not be it.

Determined to have it end on a beautiful note, she got off the bed and went to him.

"Aren't you coming to bed?" she asked. "You have to be on set at 7am, don't you?"

"I do."

"So aren't you coming to sleep?"

"No."

Hwangbo sighed. Why did he have to be like that? She stood there watching him silently with her heart in her throat as the word 'no' hung in the air.

Just as she turned to leave, he said, "You know I love you, right?"

***

"Yes."

So why can't you fight for us? Hyun Joong wanted to yell. Why was he so easy to discard? Did she really not think that he was worth the fight?

Am I not good enough for you? He silently asked as he heard her retreating back to the bedroom. He sighed as he bent his head over in defeat. So it was really over. Right then, he knew that the words, "There's nothing to tell" would haunt him for the rest of his life.

***

The next morning, Hwangbo woke up to the sound of her phone ringing.

"Where are you?" Jun Jin asked.

She yawned and looked at her alarm clock. "Where do you think I am? It's like 6:15am."

"I'm watching a live feed on the internet. He's not saying anything but the reporters won't let him leave."

"What are you talking about?" she asked groggily.

"Kim Hyun Joong! Who else would I be talking about?"

"Huh?" Hwangbo asked, suddenly alert.

"Look outside your window!"

A few seconds later, Hwangbo was watching Hyun Joong standing out in the cold helplessly with what looked like tens of reporters shining their lights and cameras on him.

The first thing she felt was panic - this nightmarish scene she'd imagined for years had finally come to be.

But on the other hand, it wasn't as bad as she'd thought. It wasn't like a scene from a zombie movie with dismembered body parts strewn across the street. It was just a man standing in the midst of scoop-hungry reporters.

And Hyun Joong… her dear, dear Hyun Joong was not cowering away from them. Instead, from what she could see, he had his usual blank expression like he really didn't give a d**n about them.

For real? He was being sincere when he said he really didn't care about all this? Really?

Her heart jumped. For real?


"What are you going to do?" she heard Jun Jin ask. "You love him, don't you?"

Of course she loved him. That question had become redundant for a while now. It was because she loved him that she'd tried to hang on for as long as possible, sneaking and hiding, even if it meant that she'd only be able to spend a few minutes with him. A few minutes that would become so precious she'd hold them close to her heart for the days they were apart. But as she watched him standing a few hundred feet away, the beginning of what would become their final separation – he suddenly felt so far, so far that she could no longer sense him as that constant factor in her life she'd become so comfortable with. And she felt so empty. Emptier than she'd ever felt before she'd ever met him. He'd carved a hole in her heart and she already knew that nothing else could fill it. Could she really bear this emptiness for the rest of her life?


Without responding to Jun Jin, she hung up, grabbed her robe, picked up her house keys and opened the door.

Yes, she was being stupid – that was beyond obvious.

Yes, she was possibly throwing her career into the toilet.

She knew she was making herself the number one topic in many of Korea's search engines.

But so what?

All the pain from that seem to pale in comparison with the pain she already begun to feel.

Besides, the deed had already been done. Leaving him didn't mean they wouldn't face the netizen's wrath, or that they'd no longer be fodder for gossip or that she wouldn't get questioned about this everywhere she went. Or that she wouldn't be called a cougar, or that his fans wouldn't hate her.

Why go through all that and lose him too? Why suffer all that for nothing? It made no sense. She didn't care if she was just psyching in order to convince herself she was making the right decision. The truth was that no matter how much she'd tried to prepare herself, she couldn't not be with him.

She ran into the hallway and past the elevators. Somehow, the adrenaline had taken complete control of her and she didn't even have the patience to stop and wait for the elevator to arrive at her floor. She skipped down the stairs and before she knew it, was running out of her building. Before she could catch her breath, the reporters noticed her and ran towards her.

As the lights moved closer, she smoothed her hair with her palm even though she realized it wouldn't do much – she probably looked like mini cooper. And her breath was most likely worse. But it didn't matter anyway – all she could see was Hyun Joong standing a few feet away, turning around to look at her. And somehow, that gave her more strength to face it after all, they were in it together.

"Hwangbo-ssi, what's your relationship with Kim Hyun Joong?" a voice she recognized asked. She turned to look at the familiar face and when their eyes met, she smiled. A few days earlier, she'd shared a bottle of soju with him at a friend's farewell party but at the crack of dawn on a Monday morning, he'd turned from friend to foe. But such was life in the entertainment world. She took a deep breath in and glanced at Hyun Joong again.

He was looking intently at her and from the way his nostrils flared, she could tell that he was nervous about what she was going to say. But when she looked back at him, silently telling him that everything would be okay, she saw the relief encompass his face. He nodded at her and she felt his support again.

She turned back to the reporter and took a deep breath in. "What kind of relationship do you think we have? You caught him leaving my apartment at 6'oclock in the morning, didn't you?"

Even though she didn't look at Hyun Joong, she already knew that he was giving her a disapproving looking but did she really have to play nice today of all days? It was okay to be sarcaastic once in a while.


"Are you admitting to a relationship with Kim Hyun Joong ssi?" another reporter asked, shoving his recorder at her mouth.

She looked over at Hyun Joong and watched him walk towards her and without taking her eyes of him, she said, "Yes, I'm admitting to it." Hell yeah, she was admitting it. Looking at his face with the soft glow of the rising sun shinning on it, had she ever seen a man so handsome?

"What kind of relationship?"

She averted her gaze back to the reporter and took another deep breath in. If she'd already come this far, she might as well go all the way. "I love him."

Just as the words escaped her mouth, she saw some people she recognized clawing through the crowd and in a matter of seconds, they pulled her away.

It certainly took the DSP bodyguards long enough to show up.

They shoved her into a car and a few seconds later, they were driving off.

She sat there, her heart beating furiously as she replayed everything she'd just done, with the implications slowly sinking in when she felt a hand cover hers. She looked up to see Hyun Joong's smiling face.

"I'm happy," he said.

She frowned. "What's there to be happy about? We're in the middle of a scandal."

He shrugged. "And?"

She sighed and rested her back on the car seat. "My career is over." She paused. "Your career is over."

He shook his head vehemently. "No, it's not. I'm going to make sure it isn't."

She smiled and looked out of the window, noticing how pretty the streets looked as the darkness slowly lifted and the city stirred out of silence. She thought of the millions of people waking up, preparing to begin yet another day of their lives. As they took their showers and prepared their breakfasts, she wondered what they were all thinking. And if they thought about the various little obstacles and challenges they'd have to overcome just to make it through the day.


She turned to Hyun Joong and smiled. Regardless of how determined they were, as entertainers, their careers depended largely on their audience – and if the audience turned their backs on them, no amount of determination could change it. That was their challenge.

She tightened her grip on Hyun Joong's hand.


"Are you okay?" he asked, looking at her worriedly. "We're going to get through this - I promise."


She smiled and nodded. "I know." It had finally become clear to her that they were in it together. And regardless of the challenges they faced, they'd get through them together and somehow, that was all that seemed to matter.

THE END